So, recently one of my assistant managers announced that she is pregnant.
This woman is positively glowing. I’m heard people talk about people glowing before, but have never witnessed it myself, and this girl is GLOWING. She is so in love with the idea of having a baby.
Sometime around the time she announced she was pregnant, I started noticing pregnant women everywhere.
And shortly after that I found myself thinking odd things. Things beginning with, “When I have my baby....”
My baby? What baby?
Anyone who knows me knows I’m TOTALLY against ever having a child. I’m not wanting that responsibility.
Yet, these thoughts persist.
The other day I found myself looking up fit pregnancy websites, and thinking about how I would have to loose weight and change my lifestyle to have a healthy baby.
Last night I was talking to my mother in law, who BADLY wants a granddaughter, and said, “Well, I might not HAVE a girl, I don’t have a lot of control over that.”
Tonight, while cleaning the breakroom at work, I was daydreaming about reading “Alice in Wonderland” to my daughter and how I am going to read to her every day even when she’s a little baby, just so that she will love books as much as I know she’s going to love movies if she’s her fathers child.
This is getting out of control.
Of course, even though I’ve never wanted a child, I’ve had my kids names picked out.
Monica (whatever my husband wants as the middle name) if it’s a girl, after my best friend.
Robert Wyncell if it’s a boy, after his dad and my dad.
I’ve even broached the thought of sitting down with my husband and asking him if he thinks we should ever have children.
I know from earlier conversations in our relationship that he would like to have kids.
But, I don’t want kids. (Yeah, even now that my damn clock has started ticking I keep telling myself this)
And if I DID want kids, I’d never be able to afford them. I mean, we can hardly even afford for me to get the new glasses I need, and I’m thinking about having a baby.
-sigh-
What has happened to me? Its got to be all those pregnant hormones flowing off my manger, right?
Posted by YummY! ::
8:34 PM ::
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