YummY! Down on This

All Moved!!!

2006-04-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

http://yummydown.com

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The Good News and the Bad News

2006-04-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

As if you coudln't tell by the title, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that some saint bought me a domain. I opened my email to a letter that started “Hey you. I did something today, hope it doesn't offend you.”

I was many things, but offended wasn’t one of them!!!

I don’t know how to work the damn thing, but I’m learning.

I’ve set up a new blog using WordPress, and am in the process of moving all the archives here over to there. That is tedious! I have A LOT of work to do with that cause the import function wont work, and I don’t even want to waste time figuring out why. Currently I’m at 11 of 179 posts!

After I get everything over there and a template up that I enjoy (the one there currently is just a placeholder to keep it from looking TOO drab while I move), THAT will be my blog, and yummydown.blogspot.com will be no more, and Yummydown.com will be officially born!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, if you want to see any of the old posts here without playing in the archives, visiting yummydown.com will probably let you see some of them.

The hard part is going to be getting it skinned like I want it. I’m not design savvy like Kittyn or Utopia, and it’s A LOT more complicated than a blogger skin. At least to me it is.

Meanwhile, while still floating on the high of the domain news yesterday, it was about 1am, and I went in to feed my rats. I usually feed them right before I go to bed.

When I turned the light on, Buddy didn’t come to the bars of his cage. I tapped on his bars and he sill didn’t come. I stood on my tip-toes and peeped into his house, and he wasn’t in it.

Oh shit, I though, Buddy has gotten out in the house!!!

He’s done that before, while he was still at the pet store. I took the cage down and was about to yell at Robert that he was out. “Oh shit,” I yelled, but before I could say “Buddy’s missing,” I saw him, curled around his food bowl, stiff and unmoving.

Instead of yelling, “Oh shit, Buddy’s missing” I yelled “Oh shit, Buddy’s dead.”

Then I burst into tears, and I’ve been crying off an on ever since. Even at work today.

I was sitting on the ribbon aisle, trying to shelve some ribbon, and thinking about finding Buddy, and how his eyes were still open, and a customer came up to me and asked where something was, and I just started crying, but was trying to hold it back, so my answer was kind of like, “Its *sob* over*sob* by*sob* the*sob* baskets*sob* in*sob* the*sob* back*snot snort*”

The customer looked horrified and said, “That’s okay, honey, I’ll find it” while holding her hands out toward me and backing away slowly like I was a dangerous animal.

I’m having a hard time with this death, because he wasn’t even SICK. I mean, day before yesterday he was acting the same as he had ever day of his life, then last night it was just *poof* and he was gone.

-sigh-

There’s where it sucks to have pet rats. They live such short little lives.

PS. Go VOTE SOMEONE OFF THE ISLAND. This time you should NOT vote for me.

I'm a Kind and Caring person.....really

2006-04-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

Yuck. Tummy nasties.

So, yesterday and the day before I was feeling horrid.

When I got home from work Friday, I cooked and ate supper, then felt bad, so I lay down and slept until a little after 8, then I got up and washed dishes and went back to bed. I felt like crap.

Saturday, Robert woke me up at 8am. He had planned to go play Putt-putt, then for us to go eat KFC before work.

We had coupons for the mini-golf, play from 9-5, as many holes as you want, and 12 free tokens to the arcade.

Well, we got there at 9 and find out the place doesn’t open until 10!!

Robert was angry.

I wanted to go back home. I felt bad.

Well, we went home, Robert wanted to play Mario Party, so I did. I still felt bad.

I asked him to let me stay home from work.

No.

We went out to KFC for lunch. It was good, but after I ate it my tummy hurt REALLY badly. I wanted to go back home and go to bed. Again, I asked if I could stay home from work today.

Again, no.

Well, coming out of the parking lot, we got a flat. Robert called his dad. His dad took me to work. I worked all day with a tummy ache, feeling tired and weak and dizzy.

After work at 9pm we went grocery shopping. I put away the groceries, checked my e-mail and went to bed.

Today....Robert didn’t feel well. He told me he didn’t feel well.

“Aww, I’m sorry,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now you know how I felt yesterday.”

He held out his arm. “I’m shaking,” he said, “and I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

“Poor thing.” I said, just as any concerned and caring wife would say. “You want to come to work with me today? It will be fun. You can help customers, climb some ladders, lift some heavy boxes.”

He just gave me a look.

“I feel REALLY bad” he said. Like he felt so much worse than I did yesterday.

Of course he does. I mean, he only caught it from me to begin with.

I bet if he still feels “really bad” tomorrow he’ll call in sick to work.

Pussy.

---

Meanwhile, today was one of THOSE days at work. Customers being fucktards. Me being pulled in 80 directions at once.

Not to mention, one of my friends was really emotionally hurt by her boyfriend of 2 years (who she lives with) and it made me want to go rip the guys nuts off and shove them down his throat before dousing him in gas and setting him on fire.

Fucker.

I don’t like it when my friends hurt, and she burst into tears several times today. And she’s a grown woman, not a teen or even a college student. A woman married several times with several children, not one that hurts easily.

Again I say, fucker!

At home tonight, exhausted, tired, an feeling a little queasy again, I tried to lay down and nap. Boomer wouldn’t leave me alone, so I got up and washed 2 days worth of dishes, then cooked supper.

I played online some, checked my e-mails, decided to blog. Added YummY! Down to several bloglistings.

After all, I want to be internet famous.

I’m very tired now, still queasy, feeling very weak and shaky. I think I’m going to bed soon. After all, I have to get up and go to work tomorrow...sick or not.

Oh, I almost forgot...I still need votes. Please, go to the SBC and tell them why I should stay on the island. DO NOT threaten the judge, just use your nice creative brain and come up with an undeniable reason why I should stay on the island.

Thank you.

I'm Infested!!

2006-04-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

These are my mice. Goldie is on the bottom, Muffy in the middle, and Moo is the skeezy looking one on top. She can't help it, she's old, and she is an obsessive groomer.

Obsessive grooming in mice and rats is like obsessive hair pulling (called trichotillomania) in people.

Moo has groomed all the fur off her face, and Muffy ripped one of her ears off recently for reasons unknown to me.

This is Goldie. She is the only one of my mice who ever really friendled up to people. She doesn't LOVE people, but she tolerates being held.

And if Goldie is the sweetie, Muffy is the evil bitch. She hates people, and likes to pick fights with the other two. Usually the fights are not seious, except for the one where she ripped off Moo's ear.

Muffy is on the left, Moo on the right. You can tell the difference between a young, sassy, fat mouse and and older, OCD mouse.

And here, just because they refuse to be left out:

Tofu, Java and Sushi.

More on the Monster Eating my Family

2006-04-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

This post will possibly be very vulgar to some people. If vomit, eating diorders, self injury or cancer bothers you, you should stop reading now. If you think I'm an attention whoring drama queen, also stop reading now.

------

Something Utopia wrote the other day made me think of this. I started to blog about it, then changed my mind, and I started to write about it again, and changed my mind again.

I don't like writing about the gritty emotional parts of my life. I'm so afraid that people think I'm doing it to get attention, because I was raised in that atmosphere....if I show emotion I'm doing it to get attention.

But I know that I have several readers here who like it best when I keep it real, and will find this more interesting than my usual "this is what I did today" blog entries.

So, now I’m writing about it a third time, and if you’re actually reading it that means I didn’t change my mind again.

I suffer from Disordered Eating.

No, I’m not anorexic. I’m not bulimic. I don’t know what I am “officially”. I call it “Emotional Vomiting”

And, no, it has nothing to do with the blog in my blogroll by a similar name.

Since high school, whenever I’m over emotional, I have to vomit. I mean, I HAVE to vomit. If I have nothing in my tummy to puke out, I will eat something and THEN vomit.

And I’m talking full on binge eating, forcing EVERYTHING down my throat that I can, until I feel sicker, then going and puking it out.

Occasionally, when I have nothing in me already to vomit up, and can’t eat (in situations like work) then I end up doing other things...chewing on the inside of my mouth until its ragged and bleeding, ripping my hair out, slapping myself, slamming my head against the nearest wall until someone grabs me and pulls me away. (That was something else that my family also accused me of doing just to get attention.)

The vomiting keeps me from REALLY hurting myself.

So maybe its not Disordered Eating as much as it is a form of SI.

You know SI right? SI is when people who are unable to deal with their emotions physically hurt themselves, usually by cutting themselves.

I dont know anyone else who does this....vomits to help their emotions. I've tried to find support for it, but can't find anyone who understands. When its at its worst I tend to spend a lot of time in bulimia chat rooms becasue thats as close as I can come to someone who understands.

My dad has a meth addiction, my brother is on medication for hearing voices, and I'm try to vomit my pain away. We're a reall salt of the earth family, huh.

In the past 2 years, my emotional vomiting has gotten out of control. A lot of it is the unstable relationship I have with my husband. If not my husband, it’s the way my customers treat me, and my family, and total strangers.

Since around the Christmas rush at work, not a single day has gone by where I have not come home from work, eaten enough for 3 people, and promptly puked it up before taking a long hot bath, sometimes crying, sometimes screaming, sometimes as if nothing had just happened.

And sometimes, shit piles up so much that even the puking doesn’t make me feel any better.

Remember my aunt, the one where they found cancer on her liver? Well, now they’ve also found it in her lungs, her bone marrow, and her lymph nodes. They’re giving her months to live.

So, on Easter I plan to go visit my dying aunt.

And people wonder why I can be so ANGRY at god all the time.

Tonight I ate half a pizza, 2 large chicken breasts, drank a 2 litter of coke and vomited until nothing was coming up but bile and blood.

I don’t feel any better. No better at all.

My Emotional Vomiting to feel better isn’t working anymore.

Now, I don’t know what to do to make the hurting stop.

(Again, this isn’t a pity post. I don’t do pity posts, but my readers seem to enjoy when I get real and gritty about myself and my life...and it doesn’t get much grittier than trying to vomit my pain away.)

Tales of Lard Discrimination

2006-04-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

Its fun to watch the number of subscribers in my feedburner go up and down, up and down, up and down. They love me. They love me! Oh, wait, they don’t love me anymore.

So, its Thursday. Thursday means I’m off work today. Oh joy. Oh rapture.

This morning we went to Target and I bought a pair of jeans with that $20 gift card I found in the road. I would have bought 2 pair of jeans, but the ONLY pair of jeans in the women’s section of Target that fit me was the one I bought.

I think I could sue, or something. An entire fucking department store, and only one pair of jeans in there for a fatass.

Its lard discrimination.

For fun I checked my visitor stats today.

Outside of the click exchanges, most of my visitors come here from the SBC or from Utopia.

See, just more reason to love the SBC and Utopia.

The top 5 search keywords brining people to my site are:

1. Yummy down on this.
2. Take my panties down doctor
3. yummy blogspot
4. living room furniture for overweight people
5. Yummy.

Of course #2 is wrong, because if you read my post before I had to go to the eye doctor, you know how much I hate for doctors to take my panties down.

Now, for whoever was looking for living room furniture for overweight people I recommend a sofa, a coffee table, maybe a recliner and a love-seat or something. Those always worked for me.
I don’t recommend bean-bags or anything inflatable.

Oh, and Webkittyn voted for me in the first Shitty Blog Survivor task.

For that she gets:

A picture of Tofu eating a cracker.

Now, its your turn. Go HERE and tell them why I should win Shitty Blog Survivor.

I'm a Survivor...

2006-04-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

So, there’s this contest, see, and I want to win it. That’s pretty simple, right?

Well, I have to do tasks. What tasks? Tasks that the contest host tells the contestants to do.

So, you guys need to do me a favor. You need to go to THIS PLACE HERE and tell them in a comment (comment by clicking the “no shit” button please) that YummY! sent you and that she needs to win because....

Well, you get to make up the because. Come up with something GOOD. Tell them why YOU think I should win!

The more interesting and creative the comments of reasons why I should win, the better, so feel free to flex those muscles.

Please. Pretty please. Because you love me.

Here’s For You Kittyn

2006-04-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

Webkittyn asked for more rat pictures. Ask and you shall receive. -grin- Just close your eyes and pretend you don’t see the person he’s sitting on.

I have to clean my rat cages either today or tomorrow, and I’ll try to get some pictures of the girls for you too, and maybe even my mice, but they’re hard to photograph because they do not sit still AT ALL!!

Meanwhile, its 12:30ish here and I’ll have to leave for work in about an hour.

Work sucks. I suppose you all know that though. At least those of you with jobs know that. I’d much rather stay home and do THIS all day.

I’m still trying to get used to wearing glasses as opposed to contacts. I wore them to work yesterday and was informed of something I already know. I mean, all day when one of my coworkers saw me in my glasses they would say, “Oh, you got glasses!” and I wanted to say...”Um...Yeah, I know, I was there when it happened.”

Also got a bit of a surprise yesterday. My aunt had come into Savannah to go to a scrapbooking store with her friend, and since they were in town they stopped by Michael’s to see me. I was on the clock though, and couldn’t really visit long, and I couldn’t really ask to take an early lunch because I had JUST gotten there. I asked her to stick around Savannah until my lunch time and take me out to eat, but she had to leave.

Robert bought me “Brokeback Mountain” yesterday, which I really wanted to see. I have to say it was a good concept, but a badly done movie. I blame the director. I’ve never really liked anything he’s directed.

Robert watched it with me and he was bored to death with it, but I have to give him credit, he stuck it out and watched the whole thing with me.

Repeat after me....Glasses are NOT the end of the world.

2006-04-03T19:57:00.002-07:00

So, today was a LONG day, and I did a lot and I totally wasted my day off.

First, I got up early so that we could go to the bank.

At the bank we 1. Opened a second checking account solely for online purchases. And 2. Took $325 out of my savings account to pay for my glasses. That nearly wiped out my savings...and since my husband never give me any of my own money, there’s no way to rebuild it. -sigh-

After the bank, we went to the library, because its close. I checked out 4 books.

1. Confessions of a Teeage Drama Queen by Dyan Sheldon.
2. Water Marked by Helen Elaine Lee
3. Summerland by Michael Chabon
and
4. In the Valley of the Shadow by Leonard Sanders

After the bank we went to pick up my glasses, thus making me officially a four eyed freak. I hate it. The glasses dull down the blue color of my eyes, and the only thing I’ve ever really liked about myself is the color of my eyes!

BEFORE

AFTER

We came home after that, and my MIL said that she was going to go to the bank and the dollar tree and asked if I wanted to come. I, being a Dollar Tree junkie, said sure, even though I didn’t have any cash.

My MIL, who loves me more than my hubby, gave me some money and I bought some dog biscuits for the rats (and the dogs can have some too), some chocolate chip cookie mix, some gum, and a book. I don’t even remember the name of the book, and I’m too tired to get up and go look for it.

We then came home and ate lunch. She said she wanted to go to Michael’s and I said I’d go with her. She said, “Are you sure? Its your day off.” I told her I didn’t mind as long as I didn’t have to work, and plus if I was shopping with her I’d be able to get her my employee discount.

After Michael’s we went to Wild Birds Unlimited, which is in the same shopping center. Then went home again, and she gave me one of the things she had bought at Michael’s. It is a wall hanging made to look like daisies on a picket fence, and it had butterflies and ladybugs on it. When she bought it I didn’t know it was for me.

Then she told me that at 6 we would be going out to eat at Fire Mountain (an all you can eat buffet), her treat.

Told you she loved me.

After I ate much, much, much more than I should have, I came home and here I am. Wearing glasses, bloated from eating too much, and blogging.

Gotta love me.

She's Gonna Break Soon

2006-03-30T19:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, so there is this girl I work with who is infatuated with Less Than Jake. She talks about that band ALL the time. So after hearing her mention them forever, and never having heard anything by them, I found some Less Than Jake songs.

I was not impressed.

And most of what I found were cover songs. They mutilated “I would walk 500 miles” and they tortured and raped “Hotel California” which should never be covered anyway. EVER.

I did find one song I sort of liked. “She’s Gonna Break Soon.”

Speaking of songs....

I spent a great deal of time today burning cds and deleting files from my computer. Image files, music files, word documents. A LOT of crap.

I downloaded a new version of Limewire, and deleted my current version, and now the new version won’t install.

Currently I’m trying to re-install the old version.

That’ll teach me to try something newfangled.

I asked for a gazoo yesterday and got it today, as per usual. I hid it inside a bad cover song. I wonder how many people actually GET my gazoos. I wonder how many people even look for them. I don’t understand why they wont give one to Kittyn. -pout-

Today was a day for shit. Fights with the husband, too much laundry, sick dogs. I even missed SBR tonight! Well, I’m missing it right now as I type this because I’m still trying to get limewire to get back on my computer, and my computer can only do one thing at a time.

I’m hoping that getting so much crap off of it will help some.

And tomorrow is back to work.

Such is my life.

So, where IS my money tree?

2006-03-29T17:03:00.000-08:00

So, today was the first of two days off in a row this week.

I like getting two days off in a row. Even if they come in the middle of the week, it feels like a real weekend, as opposed to a day off here, and a day off there.

This morning I got up early and went to look at glasses frames.

God, the horror in that.

I don’t even look into my OWN mirrors unless I have to, and I spent so much time sitting in front of this mirror that not only reflected me but MAGNIFIED me while I tried on all these different lenses.

Meanwhile the lady at The Optical Shop was scaring me shitless talking about how I needed as small a frame as possible so my lenses would look thinner.

Now its been YEARS since I wore glasses. I got my contacts my freshman year of HS if I remember correctly, and have not worn glasses since, yet my eyesight has deteriorated over the time.

All her talk about making my lenses appear thin has given me nightmares images of pop-bottle glasses.

You know them right? Maybe you call them fish-bowl glasses. The ones that are as thick as a spiral notebook, and make your eyes look roughly the size of the state of Texas.

Nerd glasses.

As if I didn’t have enough to worry about thinking about the frames making my fat face look even fatter.

Well, pop-bottle glasses and fat face aside I can’t WAIT to get my glasses.

Why?

Because my contacts have now irritated my eyes to the point where I cringe at the thought of having to put them in, and if I wasn’t blind I wouldn’t even wear them around the house. It hurts man, and I mean it HURTS. Especially my left one.

The frames themselves are not awful. Glasses have really come a long way since last time I wore them. I might even put a picture of them up on this blog when I get them. Of course, you’ll get eyes only. I’m not yet willing to share my second chin with you all. (The picture from back when I was in HS doesn’t count.)

What was awful was the price.

The frames and the thinner lightweight lenses together were $325. We agreed the extra expense was worth it because this was a long term deal.

But, add that to the $166 I paid for the initial eye exam and I’ve coughed up almost $1000 for new glasses.

And they wondered why it has been almost 7 years since my last exam. Geeze, what do they think I have a money tree or something?

After I got home from that, my MIL invited me to go out to eat with her and her sister and a friend. They were going to Carey Hilliard’s, which I enjoy, so I said sure, I’d go. I offered to pay for my own, but my MIL wouldn’t let me.

The food was pretty good, but their service was LOUSY!!!! The waitress got a 2 dollar tip, and she only got that because out of the 4 orders she got MY order right. Everything else she fucked up. Including only coming to re-fill our tea glasses once.....after we were pretty much done eating.

I could have forgave it if it was busy or something, but it was pretty dead in there. My husband and I have gone there on a busy Saturday night and got better service than that.

Then there was a veg out period while watching “Mission Organization” then dog washing and laundry. You know. Boring stuff.

I do have a Biological Clock After all

2006-03-28T20:34:00.000-08:00

So, recently one of my assistant managers announced that she is pregnant.

This woman is positively glowing. I’m heard people talk about people glowing before, but have never witnessed it myself, and this girl is GLOWING. She is so in love with the idea of having a baby.

Sometime around the time she announced she was pregnant, I started noticing pregnant women everywhere.

And shortly after that I found myself thinking odd things. Things beginning with, “When I have my baby....”

My baby? What baby?

Anyone who knows me knows I’m TOTALLY against ever having a child. I’m not wanting that responsibility.

Yet, these thoughts persist.

The other day I found myself looking up fit pregnancy websites, and thinking about how I would have to loose weight and change my lifestyle to have a healthy baby.

Last night I was talking to my mother in law, who BADLY wants a granddaughter, and said, “Well, I might not HAVE a girl, I don’t have a lot of control over that.”

Tonight, while cleaning the breakroom at work, I was daydreaming about reading “Alice in Wonderland” to my daughter and how I am going to read to her every day even when she’s a little baby, just so that she will love books as much as I know she’s going to love movies if she’s her fathers child.

This is getting out of control.

Of course, even though I’ve never wanted a child, I’ve had my kids names picked out.

Monica (whatever my husband wants as the middle name) if it’s a girl, after my best friend.

Robert Wyncell if it’s a boy, after his dad and my dad.

I’ve even broached the thought of sitting down with my husband and asking him if he thinks we should ever have children.

I know from earlier conversations in our relationship that he would like to have kids.

But, I don’t want kids. (Yeah, even now that my damn clock has started ticking I keep telling myself this)

And if I DID want kids, I’d never be able to afford them. I mean, we can hardly even afford for me to get the new glasses I need, and I’m thinking about having a baby.

-sigh-

What has happened to me? Its got to be all those pregnant hormones flowing off my manger, right?

Double Whammy

2006-03-24T19:06:00.000-08:00

1. My brother asked me if I'd support him if he decides to have my father forcibly put into a rehab/mental hospital. I do support that decision, but my heart aches with the fact that it will probably make my father and my other brother hate my brother and me. And it will further tear apart my crumbling family.

2. My aunt has cancer.

I found out both of these things in one conversation.

My heart hurts.

The Yummification of Little Wooden Boxes

2006-03-22T20:34:00.000-08:00

Today, I was off work. It was nice, but not a “Woohoo!” day or anything.

I slept. I watched TV. I read. I played on the internet. I cooked supper, made a huge mess, and had to clean the kitchen.

I cleaned out my fridge too, and that just added to the mess I had to clean. I was lucky that there were no furry fridge monsters living in the back corners of the icebox. There was, however, a container of sweet potatoes that seemed to have....melted.

I started to weed a place and prepare for my flower garden, but changed my mind. I started to clean off my desk, but changed my mind about that too.

I did do a craft project today. It was sort of small, so maybe it should be called a mini-craft project.

I took a plain wooden box.

I added to it some paint, some felt, some sand, some hot glue, some ribbon, some seashells and some paper fish and I made this.

All together now... "Ohhhh......Ahhhhh!"

Last night I sort of doubtfully sat down to watch “Strange Days” with my husband. I say doubtfully because I’m very cautious when watching a James Cameron film. Why? Because if its anything like “Titanic” then I’m going to run screaming from the room.

The movie was slow, but it had its moments. When it was over I looked at my husband and said, “That didn’t entirely suck, but why is it called Strange Days? Black Jack would have been a much more fitting title.”

He didn’t agree with me, but I still say “Black Jack” is a better title for the film than “Strange Days” is.

Small Pleasures

2006-03-20T18:15:00.000-08:00

I'm a click exchange junkie, I wont even pretend that I'm not. I surf BE and Blog Clicker and Blogazoo, and now there is Blog Mad.

Blog Mad is the new kid on the click exchange block, after months of anticipation, it was open for a while for private testing from early adoptors. Now, today, it opened for Public Beta. That means you can SIGN UP for your own Blog Mad Account if you haven't already. And if you SIGN UP TODAY then you will be able to surf today for double credits.

Double Credits kick ass.

Know what else kicks ass?

I found a Target Gift card on the road between my house and my mother in laws house, and, since it was a cute little white dog, I picked it up, meaning to just keep it becasue it was cute. I was going to use it as a bookmark.

I told my husband I had found it, and he went to target.com to check its balance, not really thinking there was anything on it, but joking that maybe it was a $500 gift card.

Well, it wasn't a $500 card, but it was a $20 card.

Yep. I got a $20 gift card for target out of the middle of the street.

And I will probably use it to buy a pair of jeans, becasue I need a pair of jeans.

And those were the deepest thoughts I could muster today, after getting up to work at 5:30 and working a 12 hour day.

Ice Cream in 60 Degree Weather

2006-03-19T16:45:00.000-08:00

Something odd happened this week.

I got the ENTIRE weekend off!

Every once in a while I’ll get a Saturday off. I don’t remember the last time I got a Sunday off. This week...Saturday AND Sunday!

How amazing is that?

So how did I spend this amazing time off?

Doing mundane boring things, as usual.

Robert wanted to go see “V for Vendetta” and I had no interest in it. So, he went to see it with his cousin.

I stayed home, vacuumed the house, washed some clothes. Then I went out with Sheryl. We went to K-mart, Target and the Dollar Tree. I got some new tennis shoes, cause my pinkytoe had escaped my last pair.

At the Dollar Tree (God, I love the Dollar Tree) I got some house stuff mostly, but I did get myself a bar of soap I really like. Yardley Oatmeal and Almond soap. Love it.

Sheryl cooked supper, we ate, I played online. Went to bed.

Yesterday went by way to fast. So did today.

Today we had lunch, then we went to Wal-Mart. Robert was looking for some DVD box set. He didn’t find it, therefore he brought home a different one. Free Enterprise. I oogled some Venus Flytraps and almost bought one, but changed my mind.

After that we went to Lake Mayer and fed the ducks and geese, then to the mall where we bought ice cream cones then browsed around.

My boss called and asked if I could go to Hilton Head with Lonnie again tomorrow and I said I would. Getting up at fucking 5:30am, but its worth it to NOT be a my Michael’s were a lot of little annoying things have gone on sale and I don’t want to have to ring them up.

Last time I went to Hilton Head it was nice to just be able to do my job and not have to be called to the register 400 times or for price checks or to answer customer service calls or to help customers in the store who walk up to me and say, “Do you work here?”.

Just to get there and work.

I really am happiest when I set my mind on a task and can stay on that task until that task is done, without interruption.

That, and I’ll get home before dark. That doesn’t happen too often. -grin-

------
*The picture of the goose. I took that picture. Yep. Thats my goose. I fed it bread. Or I tried to feed it bread, but the little black ducks took it all.

A Hungry Monster is Eating my Family

2006-03-16T14:37:00.000-08:00

Things are so horribly fucked up.

For a short time there I was actually feeling pretty good. Enjoying my job, and things were going smoothly at home.

Then last Thursday I started feeling down, and like a snowball rolling downhill its just gotten bigger and bigger and bigger.

My eyes hurt. We still haven’t gotten my glasses. Robert and I have been fighting a lot again, and I’ve been dwelling on all the pretty things in life I want that I can’t have and about how its never going to change and I’m never going to be able to outrun the poverty I was born into. I’m not as poor now as I was then, but I’ll certainly never be one of those people who can buy things on a whim.

While money doesn’t mean everything to me, it does mean SOMETHING, and the idea of never being able to have what I want is not a happy making thought.

Now, one of my aunts recently went in to have a gall stone removed and while in there they found a spot on her liver. They think its cancer.

This aunt has had cancer before and beat it. They don’t know if it’s the melanoma back, or something new.

I’ve lost 2 uncles and 1 aunt already to cancer. I’m not looking to loose someone else right now. And there is a dirty, rotten, mean voice in the heart of me that is saying, “At least its her and not the aunt I’m closest to, and not my daddy.”

But, there is a knowledge that one of them will be next. Cancer is a hungry monster who likes the taste of that particular group of siblings.

I need one of those holes.

You know, one of those holes you crawl into and never come out of again.

What I’m trying to do instead is disappear into the internet, but that’s not working today. Not enough is going on to keep me occupied.

So, I’m just sitting here waiting on it to be 9 o’clock so I can listen to Shitty Blogs Radio, and then go to bed.

Tonight is the Listener’s Choice show and I’m interested in seeing which of my suggestions made it into the lineup. Also interested in seeing what the Other SBR listeners asked for.

I wish I could get skype to work for me. I don’t understand why it wont. I set everything up exactly like they told me to. And when that didn’t work I went back and set it the opposite of what they said to do, just to see if that would work. It doesn’t work.

My computer desk is in danger of collapsing. I’ve been trying to get Robert to buy a new one. He doesn’t like any he finds. They are “too long” he says.

We’ll see what’s “too long” when the legs finally collapse out from under this one and everything hits the floor.

I hope he’s ON the computer when it happens. I hope I’m not home though.

SBotM and I Say Fuck (A LOT)

2006-03-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

Look! I finally made Shitty Blog of the Month. I had decided it was never going to happen, and that I'd have to settle on being the self proclaimed mascot and being able to post at my whim there.

It made me smile.

My SBotM happiness was sullied when the fucking DOOM dvd didn't work.

Beleive it or not I really do want to see DOOM. I wanted to see it in theaters. Like everything else that I want to see that the husband has no interest in, I didn't get to see it then.

Dont get to see it now either.

Of course, when the DVD didn't work, the fucking asswad I married didn't ask me what my second choice would be and just put in what the fuck he wanted to watch.

It really fucking pissed me off.

I'm so pissed of, in fact, that I'm going to go to bed now.

I have no interest whatsoever in Mad Max 3, and I'm fucking sick and goddamn tired of having to sit here and listen to fucking bullshit that I don't want to fucking listen to any more than I want to fucking watch. Goddamn fucking bad and really fucking annoying movie music at a volume so high I can't even turn my fucking headphones up enough to drown the fucking shit out.

God-fucking-damn I'm sick and fucking tired of all his fucking bullshit.

Goodnight.

PS. Utopia...when are you gonna get I Say Fuck off the ground? I'm all sweaty with anticipation.

I'm not an ass, I just play on on the SBC.

2006-03-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

Last night my husband and I watched a cinematic masterpiece called “The Blair Thumb.”

See, there’s this guy named Steve Oedekerk who makes fun of movies, using thumbs. My husband thinks these movies are the hight of wit. “Thumbwars” of course is his favorite, and in a moment of weakness I bought him “Bat Thumb” and when our local Media Play went out of business he bought “The Blair Thumb” and we just got around to watching it.

I wanted to watch “Doom” but was vetoed (much to no one’s surprise, I’m sure.)

The ONLY good thing about the entire thing was the following lines:

“Sure, the tent is safe. Nothing can get through the nylon.”

It was smothered in sarcasm. I loved it.

So, tonight I was a bit of a slacker at work. I mean, I did all my real work, and I even put up some returns and recovered the seasonal areas, but it hit 8:30 and then I didn’t do a damn thing the rest of the night except talk.

I’ve been in one of those moods lately where they are lucky I make it to work at all. I’ve been feeling rather blah.

I asked Ashley’s opinion on whether orange rocks or painted dots looked better on my journal cover, and told her that YummY! Was one of my online personalities and even mentioned the Shitty Blogs Club to her.

See, Jeckles, you even have me pimping your shit in real life.

God, I suck.

Now, its started heating up in the house something awful, but electric prices are heinous, so we’ve been opening windows after sundown to let the cool in.

That would be okay, except for one thing....

There is a Jack Russel Terrier who lives down the street from us who will not shut the fuck up.

Yap, yapyapyap. Yap, yapyapyap. Yap, yapyapyap.

I’ve heard that CONSTANTLY since I got home.

These people are INSANE. How can they listen to that themselves? I guess the same way my next door neighbors can listen to THIER dog bark constantly. It just makes me want to throttle the animals and the people that own them.

Not that my dogs never bark, but when they do bark I either make them hush up, or make them come inside.

I never liked Jack Russels anyway.

Oh, and I’ve got a gazoo for you. Its being guarded by a huge and vicious dog. Can you find it?

Um, Dear, There's a Rat in the Tub

2006-03-11T20:44:00.000-08:00

WAIT!

I don’t think I’ve talked much about Buddy here. I talk a lot about my girls, and poor Buddy gets left out.

Buddy is my boy rat. He’s a BIG boy. In his prime he was roughly the size of a baby bunny. Now he’s an old fella, roughly the size of a...well, a big rat.

He’s an old fella. I can’t remember if he’s 2 or 3 years old, cause I don’t do the numbers so well, but, old rat. My oldest rat. He’s been around a long time.

And he got mites.

Mites can sometimes be found in the bedding used to line small pet cages. Normal, young, healthy pets are never really bothered by them, but they can overwhelm an older rat.

Last night I held Buddy, laid my cheek against him, and when I leaned back up, the side of my face was covered with mites.

EEEEEKKKK!!!

Well, that was about 2am this morning. I just put him back in his cage. Mites wouldn’t do him any real damage that quickly. I said I’d fix it up when I got up.

Well, I slept late.

So it had to wail till after work today.

Work was a bitch. When I got home tonight I was plum exhausted.

But my boy needed fixing, so I had to do it.

So, I was sitting on the end of the bed, taking my shoes off and going over in my head what I had to do.

I had to clean the girls first, then the mice, then Buddy. The cages would need DEEP cleaning, not just and easy clean. I would have to bathe Buddy, then I would have to vacuum the room, then I would have to bathe me. Then I could eat.

Eat?

FUCK! I had to wash dishes.

“Goddamn it!” I screamed, then I laid down and cried from the idea of everything I had to do because I was just too fucking tired to keep moving, but I had no choice in the matter.

My husband took pity on me and told me not to wash dishes. Not that HE is going to wash them, I just don’t have to was them tonight. I’ll just have to do it tomorrow.

Oh well...better than nothing.

So I got my rats cleaned, got the cages cleaned, got buddy washed, got the floor vacuumed, got me washed.

Its 11:25 now. I still haven’t gotten anything to eat. I’m too tired to cook. I’m too tired to make a sandwich.

But....Buddy’s mites should be gone now. Although he’s angry at me.

This post is depressing. No. Really. I mean it.

2006-03-09T21:33:00.000-08:00

This is an old picture of me. I’m the one on the left. Yeah. Point. Laugh. Make fat jokes.

I was still in highschool. The people on the sofa with me are 3 of my closest cousins. The boy sitting right next to me is this guy. I have many fond memories of growing up with him, and its hard for me to believe that he’s in his 20s now.

I guess that makes me old.

I don’t know if you can tell from this picture, but my eyes are baggy and bloodshot. I had just found out that day that my first and only boyfriend to that point in my life was seeing another girl. I wasn’t even his FIRST. He was ENGAGED to this girl and cheating on her with me.

That was the guy I lost my virginity to.

Up until that point I’d merely been unhappy in the same way that every teenager is unhappy.

What makes this picture worth sharing is the fact that it was taken on the EXACT day that I began to suffer from depression, REAL depression and not just teenaged angst, for the first time.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Of all things, a shitty e-mail I sent in to SBR tonight got me all nostalgic, not so much when I wrote it, but when I heard Jeckles rushing thought it cause he didn’t care about it as much as the one where I said he does it for me.

Its my fault thought, I talked about Monica.

This is Monica:

She the one on the right in this picture. The girl on the left is alive and well and we still talk to this very day through the internet.

Or I should say that was Moncia. This is as close to Monica as I can get now.

She died in 2002, at the ripe old age of 23.

She was one of the last really great things I had in my life, and like everything she was taken away from me way too soon.

The day that picture of my cousins and me was taken was the day I became pessimistic. It was the day I quit caring for the world at large. It was the day that I started seeing my life as a series of losses.

They day Monica died, I spent hours on the phone talking to a man I had never met, a man she was living with at the time. This total stranger was the person who cracked my world in half, and he was the only person who had the slightest idea how bad I hurt, the only person who could offer me the least little bit of comfort.

The last good thing in my life had been taken away from me. And, like my virginity, its something I can never get back.

I don’t think my family ever liked Monica, except maybe one of my brothers and the male cousin in that first picture.

Fast forward 4 years to the present day and the heartbreak I felt in that picture has multiplied over and over. Added to it is the death of my grandmother, one of the aunts I held closest to my heart, and my best friend, and many other hurts, major and minor.

Yeah, I’m depressed. “Officially” depressed. Its much worse now than it was the day that pitcture of me was taken. Only I can’t afford the “happy pills” that so many people take for granted, so I sludge through my life in this depression while people are telling me to just get over it.

I'm sure there are some of you out there who know what is like to try to functuion like a normal human being when you dont even want to EXIST anymore.

My family, the people I should be able to turn to when I need comfort the most, tell me I’m not depressed. I’m “choosing” to remain unhappy because I want pitty.

All of that is old shit, but I’m still pissed off about it. Mainly because these people will never know the hurt that I know so they will always think I’m nothing more than a drama queen. Yeah, I’m over dramatic, but that doesn’t mean I feel it any less.

Choosing to be unhappy. If I ever did work up the nerve to kill myself (the only thing stopping me is the fear of the unknown after death. If I’m on my way to hell I don’t want to speed along the process, no matter how much I hurt in and hate this life) I bet they’d put that on my headstone. “Here lies YummY! She selfishly chose to be unhappy and overdramatically commited suicide.”

And trust me, I’d rather have true happiness than false pitty any day. I can’t have the happiness, so I’ll take the pity.

Oh, Monica died the year that my husband and I got married. I got married that January. She died that February. She knew I was engaged, but I never even got to tell her I had gotten married. She never got to tell me she was engaged. Her fiance told me that on the phone, the day he told me we didn't have her anymore.

So, how do you feel about THAT look into my life?

Are you depressed yet, or are you laughing at the drama queen begging for pitty?

It’s a bit you’ll probably hear again. Several times a year I start missing her badly. REALLY missing her. I usually try not to blog about it though.....thank god for small favors, right?

YummY! The Four Eyed Freak

2006-03-06T14:39:00.000-08:00

I don’t like going to new doctors.

I don’t think anyone does, really.

But since that time about 3 years ago now (I think) when they discovered and abnormal lump in my tummy and I went to a new doctor about once a week and had the fingers of EVERY gyno in Chatham county up my vagina, I’m new-doctor phobic.

I remember finally drawing the line and telling the last doctor, the one that finally did my surgery, that I refused to take my panties off until he would tell me he wasn’t going to send me to someone else because I was tired of being felt up by strangers.

What I’m getting at is...I went to a new doctor today.

My husbands optometrist. Because he doesn’t think that it’s a good idea to drive all the way to Dublin so I can see Dr. Whitaker when there are capable optometrists right here in Savannah.

See, I’m comfortable with Dr. Whitaker. I’ve not been to see him since 1999, but I know his waiting room. I know his exam room. I know that I can see the hair in his nose when he leans close to my face. I know that he breath doesn’t stink.

On the bright side, at least an eye exam doesn’t call for personal groping.

So, I had an appointment with Dr. Croll at 9:45 this morning. I had to go do all that new patient paperwork. Then I had to wait.

I got called into different exam rooms and sent back to the waiting room several times. I had about half a dozen different bright and painful lights shined in my eyes. I got to see Dr. Croll herself for about all of 10 minutes, if that long.

The result one one hell of a headache caused by the various light sources shined into my eyes.

I was scolded for it being so long between eye exams. I was told to get a pair of glasses and to NOT wear my contacts as often as I have been.

I was also told that my left contact is so warped that they can’t even get a reading on it...whatever the fuck that means.

So, I was told to wear my contacts until I get glasses, then wear glasses some, and I can make another appointment to get fitted for new contacts if I want, but a pair of glasses is a must.

Today’s visit costed me $166, so I don’t see another visit in my near future.

I may be wearing glasses again in a bit for quite a while.

I hate that. I have a round face. A fat face. Fat faces, as a rule, look even fatter with glasses on.
Yuck!

I’m doomed.

Meanwhile, I get to leave the Dr. Croll's office at 11:30 with a pounding headache caused by the multitude of bright lights shined in my eyes, and dilated pupils.

They even sent me out into the bright sunshine without those flimsy paper and plastic shades that I always got from Dr. Whitaker. That really, really, REALLY hurt.

I looked at myself in the mirror when I got home, and thought of evil black eyed witches and shit. My pupils were HUGE and had a small light blue ring around them. It was sort of neat looking.

I would have gotten my photographer husband to take a picture of my kick-ass evil eyes, but the pain that would have been caused by the flash probably would have landed me in an asylum somewhere.

You'r Friendly Neighborhood Bomb Squad

2006-03-03T21:15:00.000-08:00

So, today on the way to work I saw a large square truck that had large letters on the side of it.

CHATHAM COUNTY BOMB SQUAD

For some reason that pleased me. It made me almost as happy as the day that I saw a truck that said “Cryogenics” on the side of it.

Yes, I’m easily amused. I can’t even tell you WHY the bomb squad truck amused me, but it did.

Meanwhile, I actually GOT to work and...it was work. I set myself upon one task in a neglected area of the store. My boss told me good job, then told me to go work elsewhere in the store.

I would go into more detail, but really, who the fuck cares?

What I want to talk about is the lady that came through my line today. She looked horrible. Not “oh my god that lady is hideous” horrible but ‘oh my god, my best friend just died.’ horrible.

I said my usual, “Hi, how are you today,” as I was ringing her purchase and she started talking.

You know, as a whole, I hate customers, but today I felt like the friendly neighborhood barkeep as she poured her heart out to me.

She said she wasn’t doing so good, that she had just left the hospital where her friend was. Her friend who was 40 years old, and had just miscarried her child. It would have been her friends FIRST child. A child who would have had severe Downs Syndrome if it had been born. She said it was really a blessing that the child had miscarried, but she still felt horrible for her friend, and her fried felt worse of all.

She then went on to tell me that she had miscarried her own child 3 months ago so she knew what her friend was going through. She told me that the biggest difference was that her friends had been a natural pregnancy after years of trying, and her own child had been from having the expensive “getchapregnant” shots.

I’ve been thinking about that woman and her friend ever since.

I’ve always felt an ache for women who want so badly to have children, but can’t for some reason or another.

Its odd that I should sympathize for them, since I have no urge to have children of my own. Ever. I don’t know what its like to actually WANT a child, but I hurt for the people who want children but can’t have them.

Canned?

2006-03-02T19:17:00.000-08:00

So, at a quarter till 3 today I hear my name on the intercom. It wasn’t a code 3. It wasn’t you have a call on line one. It wasn’t customer assistance. It wasn’t for a price check. It wasn’t for me to report to receiving.

It was none of the usual places they call me to be.

The intercom said, “Come to the classroom please.”

The classroom is often used as a conference room if there’s not a class or party going on it in. I’m not important enough to be needed in a conference.

My panicky little voice in the back of my head said, “this is bad.”

I went to the classroom.

The store manager was in there. So was the second in command, Lonnie (who I work directly under), and so was Vanessa, one of the assistant managers I work with a lot.

Ted, the store manager, told me to have a seat. Vanessa just looked at me. Lonnie closed the door behind me and stood by it with his arms crossed. Everyone looked very serious.

I sat down. My panicky little voice was a wreck repeating, “This is bad. Oh, this is bad. This can’t end well. What did you do? WHAT DI D YOU DO!?!”

Ted starts talking about how he knows I’ve been with the store for a while now. He said he knows I was part of the mass hire to build the new store and how I had been kept on. He told me how he knows I’m a hard worker and how everyone agrees I’m a hard worker.

He’s bragging about me too much.

I was thinking about Ted telling me two days ago, when I asked for a certain day off, that there were going to be some major changes in the store soon and how they would directly effect me. I remember that they’re recently hired 4 new people. I remember that I’ve been getting fewer hours than usual the past couple of week.

My panicky little voice in the back of my head had sat down and started crying.

My brain was already ticking off the places I can start applying too. One of the vets was hiring recently, maybe they still were.

Ted and Lonnie and Vanessa were all agreeing how I’m such a hard worker and how its great that I can multi-task and that they all appreciate what I do for the store.

I was waiting for the but. The big but. The but that would go....”BUT...we’re going to have to let you go.”

See, I’m a horrible pessimist. I can’t help myself.

But, being a pessimist like me you’re not as crushed when bad shit happens as you would be if you were an optimist.

It also means that when the bad shit DOESN’T happen, then you get a pleasant suprise and a high that lasts for a few hours.

I did not get fired.

What I got was promoted. Or the retail equivalent of promoted.

I got bumped from being ALMOST part time (30 - 35 hours a week) to being full time (40 hours). That means I’ll eventually (in about a year) start getting benefits, like paid vacation days and paid sick days!

Oh, and I get a raise too. He didn’t say how much, but he definitely said raise.

So, there, a little non-bitter post from me. Enjoy it, it doesn’t happen often.

Mud wrestling? Or do you perfer green jello?

2006-02-27T18:24:00.000-08:00

I’ve been feeling a lot bored and a little depressed lately. Slightly depressed and bored blogging doesn’t lead to interesting and fun-filled blog posts.

I told my husband I have been bored and that I have a very boring life and he asked me the “trick question.”

“What would make it less boring?”

Damned if I know.

Naked mud wrestling possibly? I’m a fat-ass too, so that would make the naked mud wrestling that much interesting. At least for the spectators.

But seriously, I’m pretty easy to entertain. Just let me do something occasionally that doesn’t involve my place of business or my own house.

I want to go on a picnic. I think that would be fun. I’ve been trying to convince my husband.

He used to like doing things like that, back when he was my boyfriend and not my husband.

Its sort of sad to admit that all the “rumors” about marriage are true. You’d be better off to just date forever.

Well, not all of them. We still have sex about the same amount as when we dated, but now I’m sleeping with a boring old man instead of a fun-loving old man.

I’d rather him not want to have sex with me, but still want to have fun.

After all...I can always get my sex from somewhere else.

Will You Do It Just To Please Me?

2006-02-24T19:10:00.000-08:00

I’m doing this window thing! Humor me by doing them for me. Mmmmkay?

My Good Attributes: Johari Windows
My Bad Attributes: Nohari Windows

If you don’t want to do my windows, then read and comment to the long ass post below this one.

Are You Sure I’m A Woman?

2006-02-23T21:02:00.000-08:00

Hang on guys, this one is long, and there are no pretty pictures.....

Okay, so I’m not very feminine.

Since I was raised mostly by my single dad (with help from his grandmother and sisters), and had no sisters, only brothers, its not so surprising.

I don’t like to shop. Money is too dear to me. I need it for things like food and electricity. Sure, there is a $400 desk at World Market that I’d pretty much assassinate the president to own, but I’ll never buy it, because I have a perfectly serviceable writing desk and that $400 can be used to buy other things (like my husbands DVD box sets and massive Lego models...........but I’m not going there again right now)

I don’t like clothes. Give me a pair of worn in jeans and a baggy t-shirt and I’m happy. There are a few gothic dresses that I’m in love with, but I can’t really see myself ever wearing them. Yep, jeans and tees all the way.

I don’t like shoes. I have 4 pair. My sneakers, a pair of boots, flip-flops/sandals and my bedroom shoes. That’s all I need. Unless I’m out in public I’m barefoot anyway.

I don’t do makeup. I own makeup and I can put on makeup without looking like a clown who painted her face in the dark. I just prefer not to wear it.

I don’t get into doing my hair, getting my nails done, facials or bikini waxing.

I’m also lacking the clean gene. You know, the one that makes women nice little housewives.

I loath cleaning. I mean, I’ll do it. Our house isn’t a pigsty. We have 9 indoor animals (or 5 if you count the rats and mice by their cages and not their bodies) and the house only VAGUELY smells of animal. I vacuum. I wash dishes. I do the laundry. I sweep and mop. I even clean the bathroom.

But there are little things I never think of doing.

Like washing the walls.

My walls need washing pretty damn badly, because of the dogs. So do the livingroom curtains.

These are things that never occur to me unless I’m looking at some of the pictures I’ve taken indoors and see the dog-dirt smeared on the walls.

Holy fuck! I think, I need to wash my fucking walls.

But then I never do it.

And as for that maternal instinct....I might have the instinct of a nurse shark, but not a mommy. I don’t DO children. Crying babies make me want to break out the duct-tape. Annoying children make me think of jump ropes, kitchen chairs to tie them to with the jump ropes, and a dark closet to lock them in.

Don’t get me wrong...kids are nice in small doses. Well behaved kids that belong to other people. My niece and nephew are perfect. I can go visit them a couple of times a year. That’s all the kid I need.

Of course, I’m not into a lot of boy things either. I don’t like to hunt (though I love to eat me some deer meat). I DO like to fish. I don’t like sports, or cars, scantily clad women, or watching lesbian porn. Well.....maybe I do like lesbian porn, but I also like straight porn and man on man porn. I’m an equal opportunity porn watcher.

Wait...what was I talking about again.

Fucking train of thought.......

Growing up I wanted nothing more than to be a boy, like my daddy and like my brothers. All the time I was growing up I hung out with my brother and his buddies. I was one of the guys, except I didn’t have a penis and they did. Or I think they did. One of them did at least, that much I’m sure of, cause I’ve seen it.

Was there a point to any of the above?

Nope, not at all. But I have to talk about something sometimes, and the porn paragraph will certainly get me some hits from the perverts. I love the perverts.

Oh, and KatKat tagged me with a meme that I may or may not do in the near future. I swear I’ve done that meme recently though. If I find that I have I’ll just link that shit and then grump at KatKat for not having read it the first time. -grin-

Well, Golly-geewhiz Aunt Lucy

2006-02-21T19:49:00.000-08:00

Check it out. It’s the end of another workday and I’m still alive.

With the cough that I have and the sinus pressure, I’m not so sure alive is a good thing to be.

I actually just want my husband to get home so I can curl up on the sofa with him.

How strange is that? I actually want to be WITH my husband. Not just in the same room with him, but in comforting physical contact with him.

Surely he’s going to want to watch “Smallville”, and I’ll be sitting there reading “Fay”, but if I’m lucky he’ll put in an episode of “Lois and Clark.” After all, if I’m going to be forced to be in the same room with Superman, then “Lois and Clark” is the lesser of two evils.

Oh, and I have a gazoo. I’m keeping him in a box for now. Can you free him?

I’m thinking about asking for a gazoo every seven days, and putting it in this box in different places for people to find. I wonder how many people will find them if I did that?

Unless you surf Blogazoo then you’re probably a coufused soul right now. Thats okay. Its not for you anway.....of course it can be, if you sign up at blogazoo.

Uvula, Uvula, Uvula...its just fun to say.

2006-02-20T19:28:00.000-08:00

I wish it would pick a season.

Its not been too horridly cold, neither has it decided to stop being warm. We have days warm enough to break out the shorts, and the very next day will be a “sweats and coat” day.

As much as I love how deeply the cold weather usually lets me sleep (that is, when I DON’T have a sinus infection like I do now) I think I’m about ready for the warm to stay warm.

My mother in law has hurt her back. She’s been bedridden for about 3 days now. I’m worried about her, but she’s been to the hospital and there’s nothing I can do for her other than make myself available if she needs me.

I’ve not actually been able to SEE her since she hurt herself. Every time I go to visit she is asleep.

I miss everyone here. I get so wrapped up in my internet activities I wish I could find the free hours in a day to give proper attention to them all. -sigh-

I’m still struggling with the whole Fat Rejection thing. I’m thinking about making a weekly post updating on my weight loss, just to keep me on track. Probably on Fridays.

Would any of my readers totally hate that, or is it something you would like to see? Let me know.

*EDIT*

Holy fuck, I hit the goddamn jackpot!

Damn, I wish I could draw.

2006-02-16T20:39:00.000-08:00

I’ve been spending way to much time on Deviantart recently. I’ve been looking at hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of furries, and now I’m just ACHING to immortalize my sweet and recently departed Haruko in a fursona. And Nippy too...even though Nippy has been gone a long time. She really was my special baby. And Buddy! There would have to be Buddy! A whole family of rattie furries.

I’ve also had an itch to revive a couple of shape shifters I used to write about. (Yeah, I’m one of those internet wannabe writers. Read my shit at Noner's Notebook)

I’m not entirely sure why I’m suddenly obsessed with people who have full body fur, ears and a tail, but I am. I’ve devoted a large part of my day today to looking at fucking furrie art because I can’t draw worth a shit...only to discover that there is a horrific lack of good Rat furries. Canines and felines abound...of Rodentia little was found.

Speaking of fucking furrie art, that brings me to my discover today of yiffy. Don’t know what yiffy is? Consider yourself the lucky one. Furrie porn is not something I want to see again anytime soon.

Furrie porn = animal penises (or humanoid animals with human penises)...there you go....that makes the animal penis keyword search bringing you to my blog valid. Happy now?

It probably also validates my “adult” rating on Blog Explosion. For some reason that makes ME happy. I mean, I earned my profanity label and in a recent entry and now this one I’ve talked enough sex to warrant my “adlut” status as well.

You know, its really hard to think of something interesting and hopefully comment worthy. I had to THINK about this. I almost wrote about how I still have a sinus infection, how my snot is yellow, how I have to do housework with aliens nesting in my brain and flesh eating bacteria gnawing at my uvula.

Domestic blogging.

Or I could still be pet-blogging. I can pet blog with the best of them. I have enough fucking pets for it. I even ripped off the SBC idea (so much for me pretending to have creative ideas of my own) and started a Beastly Blogs Club. (The BBC....damn I didn’t put enough thought into that one.)

But, I’m not bitching about being sick, doing housework or pet blogging. Instead I’m telling you about my semi-furrie fetish, the kissing cousin of bestiality and pimping other sites of mine, and other sites that I play with but are not mine.

Fuck..I just figured out why I have no readership (Aside from my loyal 2)! I need to stop sending you to other places!

The Keywords unlocking my blog

2006-02-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

I’m just a bit bothered by the fact that “animal penises” is the #2 search keyword that brings people to this blog.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

I don’t remember every having mentioned an animal penis. I have mentioned penises, and I have mentioned animals, but never together. I’m sure of it.

I’m am happy to see, however, that people are searching for my blog by name. Yep...”Yummy Down on this” is in the top 10 keyword searches that bring people to me.

Does that make me internet famous? (Ignoring, of course, the fact that it also happens to be Bloodhound Gang lyrics.)

Material Motivation and Abnormal Sex Drives

2006-02-13T15:21:00.000-08:00

So, it has been a few days since I have anything to say. In my silence I hear the internet’s collective sigh of releif. So, when I got sick, of course I had to come back.

I went to bed about 2 this morning and woke up at 1 this afternoon with a massive sinus infection and a throat that feels as if I might have some flesh eating bacteria making a meal of my uvula.

Speaking of being sick...

Valentines Day is tomorrow. I had planned on making sugar cookies for everyone at work, but I not feel like it anymore. Quite literally, in fact, considering I don’t even really feel like sitting up at the computer, most less standing in the kitchen.

Also, I’m suddenly feeling rather BLAH about the whole thing.

It’s not because I’m single, because I’m not. Its not because Valentines is a commercial holiday, because it is...but so is every other holiday out there.

I think its just because the hating of Valentines day has long been a way of life for me. Because I used to be single...for a long, long, long time. Because once I got past the age in school where you had to bring valentines for everyone in the class, I quit getting valentines gifts.

I’m not getting Robert anything, because I have no money. I spent the last of my christmas cash on getting Sushi and Tofu, and since Robert puts all of my check into the bank...no dough, you know?

He’s not getting me anything either. I know this because he never gets e anything.

The first year we were together was the only year he got me anything. I’ve gotten him something EVERY year, up until now.

Yeah, I’m pretty much material good motivated. Robert pretty much just wants to get his dick sucked.

And that brings me around to the fact that I’m not currently having sex with my husband. It’s a conscious decision on my part.

Yeah, I’m a heartless bitch who wont put out.

Pretty much because when I want to have sex, I get none. Usually because he’s watching the box set of the week (He just finished 7 seasons of Stargate, he’s currently watching Seaquest.). I get ignored, I get pushed aside as the volume of the tv gets turned up.

Meanwhile, he comes into the bedroom at 2am expecting to get a bit. Okay, at 2am I’m sleepy, not horny, and I’ll never understand why his sex drive doesn’t seem to kick in until the wee morning hours.

Generally he wont go away until I give in.

Lately I’ve not been giving in. And I’ve been losing a lot of sleep.

So, will Robert get laid for V-day? Not unless its before midnight and I get something in return.

Saving the World one Price Sticker at a Time

2006-02-08T20:18:00.000-08:00

For those of you possibly stumbling across me for the first time, I work retail. I’m a sales associate at a large arts and crafts store.

I like my job.

Given my inclination to bitch about it, you probably find that hard to believe. But I really do. It’s the customers I don’t like.

But this isn’t a customer rant.

I also get a small sense of satisfaction from what I do. Especially if I have a very productive day. A day when I get all the stock on the shelf. A day when I take a customer trashed section and make it look less like a hurricane went through it.

Granted, this isn’t the same kind of satisfaction that a doctor probably feels when he’s saved a life, or a minister gets when he’s converted a heathen. But its slightly better than the satisfaction you feel after taking a good shit.

I first noticed this feeling of satisfaction when I was given the task of recovering and downstocking the spring flowers. What the hell is recovering and downstocking, you ask? Well, recovering is cleaning up the random crap that customers pick up off one shelf then decided the don’t want and put down on a different shelf in a different area of the store. Downstocking is taking the stuff out of storage and putting it in the empty spaces on the shelf.

The spring flowers looked like shit, but when I was done they actually looked pretty. Yes...pretty. Row upon row upon row of bright colored flowers, so full you couldn’t even see the shelves they were on.

That was nice.

I felt this satisfaction to a lesser degree today after I re-tagged some shelves. Now the customer have new and improved price tags to not pay attention to.

I have a notebook in my apron at work (it’s a book I make important notes in, like what shelf is empty and what time I go to lunch) and it has a Mary Engelbreit quote on it. That quote is along the lines of, “The key to happiness isn’t doing what you like, its liking what you do.”

So my point is...(and I do have a point)...that you don’t have to have a fancy job to take satisfaction in what you do. You don’t have to save lives or fix computers. You don’t even really have to KNOW anything (except for maybe where the Styrofoam balls are) You just have to have a job, and do your job, and do it to the best of your ability. The satisfaction comes naturally.

Good News and Sad News

2006-02-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

Today is a day with an up and a down.

The good news is that I was offered posting privilege to the SBC today and I didn’t even have to sleep with anyone to get it.

I was pleasantly pleased, and of course I said yes. Too bad now I actually have to think of something to say there (aside from the first post I made which is up now.)

And coming IMMEDIATELY on the heels of that offer I found out that Webkittyn has lost a very dear friend of hers. Her little furry baby, Duncan, died from, as far as I understood, complications coming out of anesthesia.

My heart goes out to her.

If the Lion and the Lamb can lay together in human heaven, then I guess that means her Claude and my Haruko are playing together over the Rainbow Bridge.

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

Move it along. There's nothing to see here!

2006-02-06T17:58:00.000-08:00

I seem to have burnt all the hair off my tongue.

See, this morning I did something very stupid. I was making a grilled cheese sandwich, and when I went to flip it over it fell off my spatula. At that point I reached out with my free hand.

Stupid.

Some cheese had leaked out of the edge of the sandwich and got on my finger. It hurt like a sonofabitch. My first instinct, which I acted on, was to put my finger in my mouth.

That, of course, brought the hot melted cheese into contact with my tongue.

So my tongue got scalded and I have a burn blister on my finger.

Stupid.

Stupid and painful.

Speaking of stupid and painful things, I’m trying to make an “intro” for my more or less nonexistent podcast. Its up at YummY! Out Loud. Go tell me what you think.

Send me some Aduio comments saying YummY or YummY out loud or YummY Down on This and they may be included in future attempts at intro making.

Further Infestation of Vegetarian Food Products

2006-02-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

I didn’t get to adopt the two little rat girls I mentioned earlier.

Its not that the adoptee thought I was a bad pet owner or anything, but she had her reasons.

Her reason was that the two I wanted to adopt had gotten homes already.

So, I got to adopt two of their sisters instead.

They were younger than I expected, only 2 months old, so they are still little handfuls. And I will get the pleasure of having them for the biggest part of their lives.

These two girls didn’t have a name. One I immediately named Tofu. The other one is still waiting to be named, though I’m leaning heavily towards the name Sushi which was suggested by an online friend.

I’m looking for a “food or beverage” theme name, since I have a Java and a Tofu.

Other suggestions have been, Mandarin, Snickers, Kumquat, Bread and Butter.

Some non-food related names have been Lark, Willow, Buffy, Posh, Edamane, Kefir and Amy.

Tofu, is the one in the back of this picture. She’s actually the outgoing one and has QUICKLY won my heart. The not yet named one is more bashful. I’m going to have to spend more time with her to try and get her to open up.

I had a surprise visit to the library yesterday. I was out with my husband and he just pulled into the lot and stopped the car.

“We’re going to the library?” I said. “I didn’t know we were going to the library!”

As a reader, I get a little overwhelmed when I go into the local library. So many choices! I can wander around for hours and still have not picked a thing out to read.

Usually, I have notice before visiting the library and I will go to the library’s website the night before with my list of “to read” books and see which ones they have in at that moment. That way when I go in I know EXACTLY where I’m looking for and where it is and I can go get it. I can still browse, but at least I know I’ll have SOMETHING.

Well, yesterday, not only did I not have my list of what I wanted to read that they actually had in at the moment, but we (my husband and I) found out they had REARRANGED the library.

What kind of person rearranges a library? My young adult books (a guilty pleasure) were not where they were supposed to be. My husbands Sci-fi novels were not where he left them. Even the K section where the Dean Koontz books are located was in a different spot!

My head was spinning.

As it were, I ended up grabbing two random novels off the shelf. “Fay” by Larry Brown and “City of the Beasts” by Isabel Allende. Neither of them were on my “to read” list, but I guess they are now.

A New Baby for YummY! ?

2006-02-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

In searching for a new cagemate for my Java (who shoudln't have to live alone as rats are companiable animals that perfer friends) I was looking for rats in recues that needed homes and I came across a lovely pair of young female rats in my city who need a home.

I've e-mailed the adoption agency asking them if the rats were still available, how old they are, and what their adoption policy is.

Hopefully, with any luck, these two girls are meant to be mine.

If you are interested, you can see the babies I'm looking to adopt at http://tinyurl.com/axsto

If for some reason I don't become their forever home I think I will keep looking into rescues and adoptions agencys.

Like dogs and cats, I'm sure there are plenty of good rats out there just waiting on a good home. And there are even fewer people looking to adopt rats than are looking to adopt rats.

I'm a Little Crabby

2006-02-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

I went to bed last night angry at my husband who was throwing another one of his "I'm a 2 year old boy, not a 39 year old man" temper tantrums. This one at 1:30 in the morning.

I woke up this morning in a foul, vile, evil mood. If looks could kill, everthing my gaze fell on this morning would be melting.

I'm also in one of those moods where it bothers me that the whole reason I exist is to make the owner of the Michaels corporation just a little bit richer.

I work my life away. All I ever do is work. I go to work around 1pm ever day. I work until about 9:15 (when we get the last of the customers out of the store...they have no respect for us wanting to go home. Last night one lady was still in there browsing at 9:30.....30 mintues after our final closing announcement, 30 mintures after the lights had gone off in the store....after EVERY employee in the place had walked up to her, asked if she wanted help and told her we were CLOSED.)

I never do anything fun.

Its either work, or housework every day of my life. Occasionally we will go to see a movie, but between cellphones, crying kids, and people with too much cologne sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME who have no concept of personal space, I can't even enjoy the movies anymore.

Its depressing. I'm dull. I'm lifeless. I'm depressed.

I want to go on a vacation.

That little crab picture was taken at a place called Fripp Island. My sister in law has a beach house on Fripp Island. She rents it out in the summer, and every summer I go and clean it.
It sits mostly empty all winter long, and this winter has felt more like spring. It would be wonderful to go spend a weekend at Fripp. His sister woudln't mind. I could probably arrange to get a friday, satruday and Sunday off of work and go.

But my husband WONT go. He's never been to the beach house, never want to go to the beach house. Says its "too far away."

I can't blame it all on Robert though.

I could go with my Mother-in-law and that would be fun but....not the same. Probably more relaxing than with my husband though. My mother-in-law never throws temper tantrums. She gets mad plenty, but never a tantrum has been thrown in my presance.
Then there is the guilt presance.

I haven't been to visit my dad in several months. He has no phone so I can't call him. If I did manage to arrange 3 days off in a row I would feel guilty if I DIDN'T go see him and that would kind of defeat the purpose.

Robert has been wanting a vacation for a couple of years now. He wants to go to Disney in Florida. We haven't been able to afford to go.

He was raised with a vacation every year. I was raised without a vacation ever.
To him a vacation is an all or nothign deal.

To me, 3 days at Fripp sounds like heaven.

Except for the inevitable guilt that would come with it.

Screw it. I guess I don't need a vacation at all. Its pretty much a damned if I do, Damned if I don't arrangement anyway.

(Well, this was another depressing blog, wasn't it. And Jeckles used to wonder why I never put any real content up here....its cause nobody wants to read my sob story shit every day)

Savor that Wet Dog Smell

2006-01-30T17:50:00.000-08:00

Hey look, I’m off again, after having worked one day this week. The bright side is...I’m not at work. The dreary, dismal, yucky side is that since I blew off all responsibilities the last time I was off, I had about 11 loads of laundry to wash, and 2 dogs whose baths could no longer be put off, cause they are stinky boys.

Also, those stinky boys sleep with me.

Yep, baths most definitely couldn’t be put off any longer.

And I had to vacuum.

All that housework bothers me.

I mean, I’m not 100% anti-housework. I do like to live in a certain level of clean and all. What I don’t like is having to devote at least one of my days off a week to nothing but cleaning house. I’d much rather spend the entirety of both of my days off with my ass planted firmly in front of my computer, only moving to refill my coffee cup and/or take a piss.

Mainly that’s cause deep down inside I’m a lazy bitch. Or so I’ve been told.

Oh well. I’m smart enough to realize that not everyone gets what they want, and in being smart enough to realize that I also realize that sometimes you have to do what you don’t want.

Because if you don’t, then you end up sleeping with stinky dogs.

And you can blame the following on Utopia.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about YummY!!

All gondolas in Venice must be painted black unless they belong to YummY!.
Astronauts get taller when they are in YummY!!
Banging your head against YummY! uses 150 calories an hour.
The Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter is made entirely of YummY!!
YummY! can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders!
YummY! can last longer without water than a camel can.
It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to YummY!.
YummY! can not regurgitate.
YummY! is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature!
There are 336 dimples on YummY!!

I GOT SMACKED (also saw an eh movie)

2006-01-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

Meet Godzilla. I should be standing beside and, and you’d know why I call it Godzilla. Its almost as tall as me and takes up most of the wall its on. A 47 inch widescreen television. My hubby’s baby. Not that I don’t enjoy it. It does kick ass to watch a DVD on a tv almost as big as some of the smaller screens in our theaters.

Speaking of theaters, we went to see Underworld: Evolution today. Counting Robert and myself, I think there might have been half a dozen people there. With this only being the second weekend its out, I don’t think that bodes well for the film.

Neither does it bode well that the film wasn’t that great.

It didn’t suck. But it wasn’t great. It left me feeling....eh.

I should have gone to see Brokeback Mountain. Then at least I could have ogled Jake Gyllenhaal. Underworld was seriously lacking in eye-candy.

Kick ass! I got 2 smacks from The British Bitch, Ms. Chatty likes my blog and Bitter Bitch likes my header.

All in all I had a good take. I had fully expected to be torn a new one and given some anti-smacks.

When I got home and actually saw “YummY! Down on This” on the most recent reviews I was so excited I almost pissed myself.

Well, that’s not exactly true. I almost pissed myself because I had to pee really bad, but I got on the internet before I went to the potty. I never claimed to be good at organizing my priorities.

Man Sized Penises

2006-01-27T20:26:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day in the way that mostly dull days are good days.

I lay on the sofa and watched a lot of Blue Gender today. As much as I complained about the tv being broken and costing an asswad to fix, I’m glad to have it back. Its cozy curled up on my sofa watching Godzilla (No, I was watching Blue Gender, the tv’s name is Godzilla.)

Anyway, I hardly ever have a day of doing NOTHING. My days off are full of dog washing, cage cleaning and dirty laundry.

Well, today the cages were clean already, the dogs needed washing but I said to hell with that, and we’re out of washing powder until we go to the grocery store tomorrow, so no laundry either.

It was great. Really.

Tomorrow is Saturday, and I’m off again. A coveted two days off in a row. How kickass is that?

We’re going grocery shopping tomorrow.

We’re also going to see Underworld: Evolution. It was either that or Brokeback Mountain.

Which, I really want to see Brokeback Mountain and have been begging Robert to go see it forever, but he had no real interest in seeing the gay cowboy movie, so he didn’t even MENTION going to see a movie until after Underworld came out.

He KNEW that if I had to choose between Underworld and Brokeback Mountain, that Underworld would win.

I did inform him, however, that he must buy Brokeback Mountain for me the SECOND it comes out on DVD.

Speaking of things with penises (yep, I was hurtin’ for a transisition there) I had the most fucked up dream last night. I dreamed about a man with a penis as long as his upper body.

EDIT: Last night I asked for ONE OF THESE and this morning I had one waiting for me. That was kind of neat!

The things I might have said....

2006-01-26T16:37:00.000-08:00

I had things to talk about today.

I was going to talk about work, and how there was no point in me being there. I was going to tell you about 15 bean soup and how everyone was eating it. I was going to tell you about my boss making me make lists of things missing from shelves, then to go up and get the things on the lists, only to find nothing ON the lis up there. I was going to tell you about how the scanner gun computer going down made my list making very hard.

I was going to talk about sitting with the florist, and putting frogs and hummingbirds in her arrangements. I was going to tell you about her little dog, and how it will only eat scrambled eggs. I was going to tell you that she has a bug man, but doesn’t have bugs.

I was going to tell you about the lady who first said her child was kidnapped, then admitted to killing the child.

I was going to tell you how the day was very long and I was very glad for it to be over.

I was going to tell you all of that, until, on the ride home, after she had bought me Arbys, my Mother-In-Law gave me some very bad news.

While I was at work today, living all the things I was going to tell you about, my sweet, horrible, Haurko went to sleep...and didn’t wake up again.

She is the first of my girls not to pass on in the night. I gave her her meds this morning, got me some rattie lovins, told her I’d make her come corn for supper (yes, I talk to my pets). Now she’s gone, curled up in her pet carrier which is marked “Live Animal Inside, Please Handle with Tender Loving Care” and even I can see the humor in that, but it still hurts.

I guess I’ll be getting up in the morning and having a small rattie funeral.

Miscellaneous dead animal parts make for good eatin'

2006-01-25T20:04:00.000-08:00

Tonight I came home tired from work with urges and cravings.
I had an urge to listen to techno music, so I got my computer started playing the 4 techo songs I have on there.

I had an urge to take a long hot bath, so I filled my tub with hot water, took a book in there, and a cup of coffee.

But then I had a craving for miscellaneous dead animal parts boiled in oil, so I fried some spam and ate a spam sandwich before climbing into the tub.

By that point I’d run out of techno music, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that.

Today, I had lunch with the 2 openly gay men at the store. One of them is my buddy, I love him to itty bitty bits and pieces. The other one is a funny guy, but nobody I’m friends with.

They were discussing celebrities that they found attractive. Cary Grant and Patrick Stewart were mentioned. I had to agree with him on the Patrick Stewart bit. That is a yummy old man.

Then they started talking about dreams. One of them dreamed about the boss suddenly sucking his fingers. The other one dreamed about a co-worker sucking something that was NOT his fingers.

Then I had to tell them I dreamed that the Styrofoam balls developed brains and started chasing us around the store. Not as risque as the others, but everyone got a laugh out of it.

Now, you may or may not be wondering why I’m having nightmares about Styrofoam balls. Its becasue its “class project” time at the schools around here, and between all the solar systems and molecules being made I get asked about a million times a day if we have Styrofoam balls.

Yes, yes we do.

Tomorrow I’m tempted to take my camera to work and take pictures of random shit, like styrofoam balls. But tomorrow I work a day shift, and the boss will be there, and bosses tend to frown up on working fucking off with digital cameras on company time.

But it would kick SO much ass if I could get paid for taking crappy pictures!

Sweet Mother of Mercy!

2006-01-24T18:40:00.000-08:00

Today sucked ass! I mean, REALLY sucked ass.

This morning was okay. The man came with a part for our "OHMYGODITDONTWORK" broken television, and it actually FIXED it so it only costed us a little over $300 all told to get it fixed as opposed to the over $700 that was threatened.

It's my wedding annivesary and I didn't get a damn thing, which shouldn't bother me because I KNEW I wasn't going to get a damn thing, but I didn't even get Robert telling me "Happy Annivesary." He was all up the television repair guy's ass.

We got a shipment in at work this morning, so there was PLENTY to do. I was dissapointed to have my boss tell me to "Get with Tiffany" as opposed to giving me my OWN work to do. I wanted to ask him if I'd done something to make him loose confidence in me as a worker, but I dont want to come over all needy on the boss.

So, for the first 3 hours of the day I was working with the useless new girl. I'm always working with her anymore, and I'm always having to finish or fix the work she does wrong.

After she left, I spent about an hour putting up the overstock she'd left sitting in random places around the store, and then I finished what we had been working on.

I didn't get nearly as much work done today as I would have liked to have. I felt like a failure at the end of the day.

And I hurt myself....twice.

I was climing the ladder to put up overstock and I felt my right foot pop in a way that meant my cracked bone had just shifted a bit. My foot is STILL throbbing from that. And later I ran over the heel of my OTHER foot.

Sometime around 7pm I began to feel tired. Real tired. VERY tired. I just wanted to sit down and....well, just sit.

I pushed on through to 9, left right AT 9 (I usually abide by store policy and leave at the same time the manager does, but tonight I just had to go home and....sit.)

I got home to find that the mirror part of my mirrored headboard had....fallen down to the floor. Now I dont have a mirrored headboard. I have a cardboard headboard.

And of course the bitch cracked when it hit the floor, so its not like I can put it back up.

It was shitty furniture anyway. Cheap. Now broken. And probably not going to be replaced anytime soon.

(I'm pretty sure it fell out becasue Robert has been watching TV back there and LEANING AGAINST IT, so he had to have pushed it out of place. Its for looks after all, not support.)

Next time maybe I should say "I Don't"

2006-01-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

My 4 year wedding annivesary is today. Yep, 4 years.

Somehow it doesn't feel like it has been that long, and somehow it feels like its been longer.

How are we celebrating? We're going to work.

Oh, and he bought me a book. Stephen King's newest one. One which I had chrismtas money saved aside to buy. He told me he joined a book club and bought it for 17cents.

I don't want it for 17 cents. I want it TODAY when it comes out. Not whenever the book club decides to send it to me. IF it decides to sent it to me.

See, the thing about joinging this "clubs" is that they so very rarely send you the books you ask for, and very often send you books you dont want.

-sigh-

Anyway,

Recently I've had a couple of posts here bitching about my husband. Today, in honor of our annivesary, I have put together two lists for you. Reasons I want to leave my husband, and reasons I stay with him.

REASONS I SHOULD LEAVE

1. Money. Mainy in that he wont let me have any. I might could forgive that if he worked and I didn't, but I have a job too. But, in his mind, he makes more than me, so he gets to spend all his EXTRA money. I don't get to spend any of mine. Or hardly any of it.

2. He has a nasty temper. Now he has NEVER hit me. He does yell alot. Usually not directly at me (unless I ask him to stop yelling, then he yells AT me) but I'm the one having to listen to it, not whoever he is yelling at (television comercials, people in other cars on the road, the VCR, the dog, the remote control, the pot of potatoes he's cooking, etc) After 5 years (I lived with him a year before we were actualy married) I'm just simply sick of hearing about it.

3. Housework. He does none of it. Unless he gets on a rampage where he wants to move everything in the house to clean the carpet or dust every inch of the building including the insides of the closets. And when he does that I usually end up being told to do most of it on my days off of work. (Remember, I have a job just like he does. I'm NOT a housewife.) Once upon a time he used to vacuum. Now he doesn't. Once upon a time he used to at least put the dishes away once they've dried. Now he doesn't. Oh, and he wont let me use the dishwasher. He says it doesn't get the dishes clean. BUT, whenever I have A SHITLOAD to wash, and I'm tired from WORKING all day and I have enough time to run it before he gets home I run the dishwasher, then take them out and put them in the dish drain, then put them away when he gets home. If he doesn't know I run the dishwasher he doesn't say the dishes "feel dirty." But if he does know I run it he will say they "feel dirty."

REASONS I STAY

1. I don't have to cook for him. Except for occasionally to roast a chicken or something. Robert doesn't like anyone's cooking except for his own, and a couple of things that his mother cooks. Its not even that he doesn't think that nobody can cook as good as his mom. In fact, he hates about 97% of her cooking too.

2. The man doesn't complain about my weight. I never have to listen to him bitch about me gaining weight. He never mentiones it unless I do, and he's constantly telling me I have a great ass.

3. Sex. Not just sex with him, but sex in general. From him, I get it. When you get over 200 pounds, most ment stop looking at you as sexual beings and start looking at you as if you might eat them.

I could probably add more to both lists, but I'll stop there.

Oh, and The SHITTY BLOGS CLUB has moved becasue blogcafe sucks yellow monkey ass...or something. Click the link for the new addy.

********

Photo is of my husband worshiping his God, the television. This is him at the smaller alter in the bedroom, not with is OHMYGODITDONTWORK broken godzilla monolithic diety in the living room.

Weed Gardening (and petunia hell)

2006-01-19T21:19:00.000-08:00

This is my weed garden.

Weed garden?

Yes, weed garden. A garden in which nothing grows by weeds.

You will also noticed the petunias are sitting beside a SOFA in my YARD. One without cushions, but the ability to fold out into a bed if the need ever arise. Why is it there? Seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe its just my redneck roots showing.

Anyway...weed gardening...

Once upon a time (last spring) I had some potting soil, a bunch of baby petunias, and good intentions.

Well, you know where those good intentions will get you.

My good intentions and my red thumb (red thumb becasue red is the opposite of green in the colorwheel, or some shit like that) sent my baby petunias right up to petunia heaven. (Well, the GOOD petunia's went to petunia heaven. The bad petunia's went to petunia hell, and the neutral petunias went to petunia purgatory.)

Meanwhile, the pots got moved to various corners of the yard, and lo and behold green shit started growing.

I figured I’ve stumbled upon a wonderful idea. These weeds were growing like...well...weeds. I didn’t have to water them or anything, and they woudln’t die even if I wanted to.

So, I smushed all the pots togther and made me a weed garden. Green stuff to look at over the half a month of actual winter we get here.

Meanwhile, when spring rolls around again I’ll try baby petunia project two.

If they die, I’ve always got my weeds to fall back on.

We're Gonna Loose Her

2006-01-18T18:02:00.000-08:00

You woudln't think it to see her in this picture, taken only an hour or so before I wrote this post. You would if you could see her currently though, curled up looking pitiful, one of her small hands holding on the the tip of my left index finger as she's curled halfway up on my hand.

Like a child only halfway asleep, when I try to move my hand she squirms, holds on tigher, doesnt want me to leave her.

Her meds have made her poop a little, but not enough. Her tumor is the big C. The vet says she's not in any pain, but I can give her small doses of Benedryll just in case.

My Horror-Haruko isn't a Horror anymore. She's a lap rat, not wanting to run and play much, only to lay curled up in mommy's lap and sleep.

Maybe its just teh Benedryll.

Occasionally she will take a long and deep breath, and I hold my own thinking that this one will be her las one, then she'll let it out and breath normal again.

Meanwhile, Java wonders why I'm not spending as much time with HER as I used to. When I open the cage to give Haruko her meds, Java tries to grab the dropper. She wants some too.

What is poor Java, who's never had to live alone, going to think when Haruko isn't there anymore?

Right now I'm concentrating on making Haruko as comfy as possible in her last days (hours? minutes?) of life. If she wants a treat, she gets a treat. If she wants to run around on the comptuer desk, she gets to run around on the comptuer desk. If she wants to curl up in mommys sweatshirt pocket, she gets to do that too.

My sweet, beautiful Horror-Haruko.

Zipped Lip Syndrome

2006-01-16T18:19:00.000-08:00

I haven’t spoken to the hubby in almost 12 hours now. For the first time ever in our marriage I’m giving him the dreaded “Silent Treatment.” I’ve tried this in the past, but I always end up talking to him. Thus far, this time, I’m sticking to it.

We’ve been fighting a bit.

I’m worried about my sick (now possibly dying) rat, and he’s stressing over his, “OHMYGODITDONTWORK” broken television.

Sunday we got into a bit of a tiff over how I needed broadband because dial up sucks yellow monkey ass, but we can’t AFFORD it, but he can AFFORD all those goddamn Lego sets, and to have his “OHMYGODITDONTWORK” broken television fixed. (We can’t afford it because he doesn’t use the net as much as I did. If HE were the net junkie I bet we could afford it)

Anyway...money shit aside, that was the first big fight of 2 days.

Then this morning I go in to give Haruko her medicine, and she’s as cold as ice (usually a sign that a rat is going to die in the next 48 hours is when their bodies go all cold), so I’m standing in the kitchen crying and all of a sudden Robert pitches a screaming, cussing, 3 year old with an attitude hissy fit.

Why? Because the repairman wont be available to come fix his “OHMYGODITDONTWORK” broken television until AFTER 1pm.

*sniffle, tear*

Break my heart why don’t you.

I basically told him to shut the fuck up, I don’t want to listen to him screaming and cussing about his precious TV and the service hours of the place he bought it from. Its just a fucking TV and he wont be doing anything but sitting on his ass watching TV all day anyway. (He works nights, going in at 3pm...plenty of time for the repairman to come) I also informed him that Haruko was dying, would probably be dead soon.

He gets pissed, yells at me some, says something about blowing up the tv repair company, and leaves the house.

See, beloved family pet dying, husband still only giving a shit about the “OHMYGODITDONTWORK” broken television.

So, yeah, YummY! no speaky to hubby. Didn’t even answer the phone when he called tonight.

Wait...I didn’t even LET him call tonight. I left our yellow monkey ass sucking dial up internet connection connected while I was taking my bath.

Take that you heartless bastard.

Feeding My Sweet Tooth

2006-01-14T09:22:00.000-08:00

I have a huge sweet tooth right now. I dont normally. I'm a salty snacker. However, my aunt introduced me to a cake that is melt in your mouth good and "straight to your ass" fattening.

Right now I want one of these so badly:

Honey Bun Cake

Ingridents

1 (18.5) yellow cake mix
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
8 oz sour cream
1 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
2 cups confectioners sugar (powdered sugar)
4 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon vanilla

preheat oven to 325

put cake mix, oil and sour cream in large bowl. stir by hand about 50 strokes
or until most of the lumps are out.

Pour one half of this batter into and ungreased 9x13 pan.

mix the brown sugar and cinnamon together and spread it on top of the batter then pour or spread the other half of the batter over the cinnamon and sugar.

take a butter knife and twirl it in the batter till it looks like a honey bun.

bake for 40 minutes.

to make iceing

Whisk together the confectioners sugar and vanilla and milk until smooth ..drizzel it over cake and enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Pour icing over the top while cake is still kinda hoT.

let me know if you make one..

Sick Rattie update, the Staple Rebellion and Blue Gender Goodness

2006-01-11T19:32:00.000-08:00

So, Haruko survived her first visit ever to a vet today. Poor little girl. She's so big she can barely waddle, and she has no energy.

I coudln't go with her because I had to be at work at 9am this morning (most days I dont have to be in until 1 or 2pm....damn day shift came on a bad day(

Anyway...the Hubby said Dr. Gross seemed competent enough.

What happened at the vet today, according to the Hubby, is:

Haruko had an anal probe done.
She DOES NOT have the impacted bowel that I feared.
She DOES have a tumor or cyst, about the size of and M&M which is pressing agaisnt her intestine, causing her to be constipated.
She has been put on Lactulose....a laxative/stool softner to see if she can pass stool past the tight spot in her intestine.

So, the verdict is:

No rattie Messiah to be born at my house. (Sorry Utopia. However, my very next rattie will be named Squiffy the Messiah.....or Messiah Squiffy...or some combination of the two, in your honor. It wont be as good as a real Rattie Jesus, but it will be the next best thing.)

Oh, and Raven, if they start buidling little rat churches, you'll be the first one I inform.

KatKat and Webkittyn, thank you for your happy thoughts and good juju.

In other YummY! News.....

Today, in the first 30 minutes of work, I managed to cut two different fingers on two different hands with two different staples.

Either the staples are revolting, or I'm one clumsy klutz and need to have my boxcutter prividgles revoked until I can be trused around sharp objects again.

At least it wasn't as bad as the guy in the frame shop who almost cut off the middle finger of his right hand with a piece of glass. I have to say his splint is funny as hell though.

Oh, an I finally got my Blue Gender box set.

KICK ASS!

I haven't watched any of it yet, though. I'm trying to con....um...persuade my Hubby to watch at least the first episode with me, to see if he'll like it enough to watch it all.

He's been watchign Stargate nonstop for the past couple of weeks. I need a break!

Rat Vets and Worried Mommies

2006-01-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

Why is it so hard to find a vet for a rat? Espically in a town with a Pet Smart that sells PET RATS! You would think that the vet INSIDE of Pet Smart would treat rats, but no. No, they dont.

And the one vet who I KNOW treats rats misdiagnosed one of mine, leading to her eventual death, so I dont trust her anymore.

This beautiful little girl here is sick.

She has been lethargic for the past few days, staying on the bottom level of her cage, not running to me for love or treats anymore. Her abdoman has become distended, and this morning I felt a lump to the side of her abnormally huge belly.

My first thought, when I noticed her belly being bigger was that she had gotten constipated. I put her in some water to see if she would poop (becasue that usually makes them poop) and nothing came out of her.

Then I felt that lump in her tummy, and its DIFFERENT than the tumor and cancer lumps of my past rats, and I made a self diagnosis right there.

I'm afraid that somehow Haruko has gotten an impacted bowel.

So, we call some vets to ask what can cause a sudden distension of a rats belly. They all said the same thing...."She's Pregnant."

Um, no, she is NOT pregnant. She has not been in direct contact with a male since she was weaned from her mom and seperated from her littermates. If she is pregnant, then Buddy (my boy rat) has Super-sperm that can fly around until it makes contact with the proper famale ratty parts.

Either that or Haruko is about to give a virgin birth to the rat version of Jesus.

Tomorrow at 9:30 she will be going to visit a Dr. Bragg at the place where we take our dogs and cat to. I've never met Dr. Bragg. All I care is that Dr. Bragg has had SOME experience treating small pets and that he/she can find out what is wrong with my Haruko and fix it....without surgery.

I'm hoping that my husband will let me call in to work and tell them I will be late so I can go with him to take Haruko to the vet. I can answer any question Dr. Bragg might have much better than HE can.

Whining on the Radio, and Throat Ripping of the Blue Gender Variety

2006-01-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

I had a brilliant idea at work the other day, and I tell you all about it (I beleive Jeckles called it whining) at YummY! Out Loud.

Not much going on today. Nothing at all worth blogging about.

The carpet cleaning is done. Hopefully until this time next year. Hubby is talking about getting ready to pain the intereior of the house, one room at a time, and I'm thinking....thats never going to happen. I'm pretty sure we're going to have to buy a new water heater soon.

Its currently 11:19 pm and I'm doing laundry becasue I was a lazy bitch today and didn't do a damn thing but play on the computer.

I have an adiction to the game, "The Movies" which I bought the hubby for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas....my Blue Gender box set still has not gotten to my house. I'm about to rip out throats over that one.

Did I enjoy my day off? What day off?

2006-01-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

First...

From the brain of YummY! comes...

RANDOMIZED

I think Randomized is what I meant for YummY! Out Loud to be to being with, only it didn't work that way.

Born elsewhere, I've moved it here. I'm not sure how to describe it other than that it has links. Go, look, see, love.

And now....

I’ve had two days off in a row this Friday and Saturday, and they have been spent moving furniture and books and cleaning carpet (which is something we actually started on Thursday).

These are fun times, yes?

Fun times carrying boxes that weigh almost as much as me, and moving furniture, and having to take everything I own from point A to point B and back to Point A again. Add to that being sick (I’ve had an upset tummy the past 2 days and a migraine yesterday) and also having to do the laundry and wash the dogs and clean the rats/mice and wash the dishes and all the other stuff I have to do on my days off work.

Well, I’m sure its SOMEBODY’S idea of a fun time. Not mine, but somewhere out there is someone who love to clean going, "You lucky bitch!"

For me it just leaves me thinking, "No wonder I feel so damn stressed out all the time. I never get a day off."

It makes me think of a bit of woodwork my aunt did once. It was a mom pig suckling her piglets and it said, "A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done."

I just want to kick back and relax and spend some quality time with my husband. (Quality time in this instance means being in the same room with him while he watches tv) Meanwhile I have to help him move his obscenely large Star Wars collection from Point A to Points B-F (I don’t see how he has all this shit in ONE ROOM, Especially since the room is only HALF empty and right now my living room, kitchen AND dining room are full of the crap from his "Star Wars/Star Trek" hoard.

I’m about ready to tell Robert, YOU move the crap, I’LL run the vacuum and the carpet cleaner.

I don’t know where he is right now. He left the house. I think I was supposed to keep working while he went to do whatever it is he went to do. (I think he wen to play with his dog at his mom’s house)

Screw that. I’m sitting my tired (or some would call it LAZY) ass right here. As long as he’s doing nothing, I’m doing nothing.

...and a face-ripping zombie turtle.

2006-01-05T20:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, so if you didn't gather from my LAST post that I'm a b-grade horror movie freak, I'm here to tell you now that I am.

Today I bought 3 of them.

Sometime soon I will be watching "The Pit" and "Hellgate" and "Breeders."

I'll probably watch "Hellgate" first simply because the blurb on the back of the box has a sentence that contains, "...and a face-ripping zombie turtle."

C'mon! How many movies can say they have face-ripping zombie turtles?

I also bought some music today. A Dr. Hook Greatest Hits cd which DID NOT include "Freakers Ball" or "Rolling Stone." What kind of greatests hits is that?

If I had a podcast I'd so have to play "Freakers Ball"

I also got Fountains of Wayne "Welcome Interstate Managers" and The Presidents of the United States of America "Love Everybody"

Mmmm.....zombies.

2006-01-04T21:19:00.000-08:00

I did not get my book of stamps.

I did get a book.

Resident Evil: Zero Hour

Its a novelization of the game by the same name, by S.D. Perry who has written several Resident Evil books, some novelized versions of the games, others straight from her own brain.

I love Zombies. Zombies are fun.

Boys and Their Toys

2006-01-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

My husband is into pleasing himself.

Well....he is.

See, he likes to buy things for himself. Like televisions almost larger than our living room, and DVD box sets of tv seires from the 70s, or Star Wars Lego sets costing in the $100s of dollars.

He does all this while complaing about how broke we are.

He justifys this by saying he's only spending his "overtime money" or his "dog walking money."

With Media Play going out of business he's been buying movies and games on a weekly basis, and yet says we can't afford to buy me a book of stamps.

We get into unending fights about this.

Its not like I dont work and am asking for an allowance, or something. I work just sort of full time (because they dont want to have to give me full time benefits) at a retail arts and crafts store.

I do make less than my husband, and therein lies the problem. He wants to share the bills evenly. Evenly takes every cent of money I make, while he still has some left over.

It would make sence that if he wanted to make it "even" that he would pay a little more than me, leaving us equal ammounts left over.

My husband also get to work overtime, which I dont. More extra cash for him.

He also offers his services as a dog walker for a friend of the family, and gets paid for that.

All that extra money, and he is loath to part with any of it on my account.

He wasn't like that while we were dating. While we were dating he shared with me.

The bastard.

Needless to say this is the subject of unending fights between us.

Needless to say....he wins.

Therefore, the husband gets new toys and YummY! just gets pissed off.

Right now I'm off to bargin for a book of stamps.

Wish me luck.

Welcome to 2006

2005-12-31T20:59:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2006, my friends!

Most of us have made it here alive and in one peice.

Some of us made it here sober.

I'm sitting here slightly after midnight, enjoying my first cup of hot coffee of 2006, and wishing I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

I'm also wishing I was very druk and partying my ass off right now instead of on the computer being lame.

Some things will never change.......

YummY!'s New Do

2005-12-30T20:42:00.000-08:00

So, to those of you who have been here before, whadda think of the new look?

Aliens...yes? Not what I was looking for (I was actually looking for something for my writing blog) but I though...hell, I've had a yummy down banner on BE with and alien on it forever, why not have aliens on my blog.

Speaking of BE.....

I found out today that I can't rent my blog because its marked as being an "adult" blog. I pouted for a bit over that one. I wanted to join the renting fun.

And just now, typing this, I wonder if I'll be allowed to space on OTHER blogs with this one, with it being such an "adult" blog and all....cause I've been trying to save up credits to rent out the Shitty Blogs Club space.

Somehow I managed to be off work tomorrow. Its funny, I got New Years Eve off. Most people would be thrilled off their asses. I'm just annoyed becasue my husband will be home all day.

We never do anything on New Years except shoot off fireworks...and this year we coudln't even afford to buy fireworks. (Had too many pesky bills to pay, including a gas bill that was about $100 more than it should have been because some fuckwit read the meter wrong.)

YummY! Out Loud.....sort of.

2005-12-29T21:57:00.000-08:00

So, I signed up for this Skype thing that I heard about on Shitty Blogs Radio (among other places).

I thought, hey, I can talk to whoever else has it and it wont cost me a damn thing. At the very least I can get my brother to sign up and talk to him free of those painful long distance bills....becasue I love my bubba and dont talk to him much.

If you have Skype and want to try to talk to me (I say TRY becasue I have no clue what I'm doing) I'm Nonersays on it....not YummY!.

I couln't decide at first, then I went with Nonersays, because 98% of my internet people know me as Noner.

The trick is for me to remember to turn it on when Robert isn't around watching TV so I can talk back.

The Dullness of Me

2005-12-28T19:20:00.000-08:00

I woke up around 7 this morning and thought the light in my room looked VERY funny. Strange.

Like I had slipped into another dimension where the world glowed pink.

I looked out of my bedroom window, and the entire sky was pink. Not just where the sun was rising, but the ENTIRE sky.

Once aware of that fact I yawned, pissed, and went back to bed.

Pink sky or not, 7 is too early for me. (I’m NOT a morning person.)

Add to that a gas bill that’s about $100 more than it should be, and 5 hours of me playing a computer game, and you have my day in a nutshell.

****

I’m basking in the post-Christmas glow. Ready to take down my Christmas decorations, eager for it to be new years.

God, please let this year end soon!

So this is christmas....

2005-12-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

Just 2 days before Christmas.

Just 6 minutes before I leave for work.

What do those two time periods have in common? NEITHER of them make me happy.

I'm about 100% grinch this year.

I want to take my tree down now. I sick of looking at it.

I want to give the next person at work who tells me "Have a Merry Christmas" the finger, because I know that inside they are laughing at me.

"You have to work and I dont' ha-ha" their false smiles jeer at me.

Fuck them. Fuck them all.

Bah. Humbug.

The Things I Would Do If I Were Mean

2005-12-19T20:28:00.000-08:00

Today, a child ran circles around me. Around the entire aisle I was in actually. Through kids crafts, to the dollar bins, round and round and round.

At one point I though about how painfully funny it would be if I stuck my foot out and...oopsie...kid falls down.

Oh how horribly, horribly badly I wanted to do that.

I didn’t though.

Sometimes it sucks that I’m the better person. It would be so much more fun to be an asswipe.

I can't be bothered to spell check tonight....

2005-12-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

It recently came to my attention that I've been blogging here a year.

One whole year of this pointless blather.

And most of it wasn't even blather. Most of it was pointless pictures or me not saying a damn thing.

Thus is the world of blogging.

I tried once to have an "interesting" blog, then I remembered that I'm the worlds dullest person. The most I can hope for is for someone to get a giggle out of my customer rants, but you can only REALLY appreciate them if you've worked retail, and if you're one of the customers I rant about (or have done similar things) then you just get pissed off.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on, someone once said and alot of people have repeated.

Whoever said it to begin with must have never heard that there are people with a "Golden Showers" fetish. (Thats just sick. Ewwww.)

So, I settled on being a "Day in the Life" blogger, and it makes me feel like a little girl with a diary with pink pages scribbling in mundane things and calling it a journal.

None of you give a shit about a day in my life. None of you.

I know this because I never get comments. (I'm SUCH a comment whore.)

I know where this blog has been, I know where it is now, I have no clue where its going.

Have a good night.
Come again soon.

Of Bitches with Buggys and Bad Christmas Juju

2005-12-14T14:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, just in case anyone out there DIDN'T know, I work in a retail store. A retail arts and crafts store. I work in ALL departments, but they mainly keep me in the seasonal department, because thats where the people need the most help.

Its the BUSIEST department in the store, espically since the "season" right now is Christmas. The customers are many, like bess in a hive or ants in a hill. Theres hardly any floor space there to begin with because of the Christmas displays, and what space that does still exist is full of housewives with shopping carts.

Part of my job in this busy, busy area of the store is to put up stock.

We stock 24 hours a day. Literally. There are people there while the store is open putting stock out. There are people there when the store is closed putting stock out. We can hardly keep up with the demand.

And when I'm stocking I must have boxes. Its hard to find places to put the large stacks of boxes we have.

And to stock I must have me and at least one box wherever the stock must go.

Well, one day I had to put stock on the BOTTOM shelf of a rack facing the MAIN aisle on the Seasonal side of the store.

That means...I had to get on the floor where the most buggys are going by.

Of course I was bumped into by several buggys. That is going to happen. And to their credit, MOST people apologized and went on by when I moved to let them pass. One lady even came back by about 5 times to apologize AGAIN for having bumped into me.

Then there was the bitch.

She didn't bump into me so much as she SLAMMED into me. The first time I gave her a little credit that it was an accident, and I was in the process of getting up to let her pass when she pulled her cart back a little and this time forcefully SLAMMED it into me again. The second time there was no doubt that it was not an accident. She purposefully hit me with her shopping cart.

After that I stopped trying to get up so she could pass. My first instinct was to leap off the floor and rip her throat out. Instead I just sat there, very much in her way, and gave her a look that would have withered a cactus.

She just made that rude tooth sucking noise, rolled her eyes and backed up to go another way.

If she had hit me a third time I would have called the manager and ask for something to be done about her assulting me.

I have a fucking lump and bruise on my leg from where she smashed her cart into me the second time.

Fucking bitch.

More Orange Kool-aid, The Cellphone/ass connection, djs who hate their listners

2005-12-11T18:48:00.000-08:00

Due to the earlier mentioned incident with Orange Kool-aid, my keyboard is still sticky. It still works, but the buttons stick down. Funny thing is that with every passing day the sticky gets worse.

So, tomorrow i'm going to take it apart and soak the key part of the keyboard in warm water. Seeing as how nothign MECHANICAL is in that part, its all plastic, I should be able to safely get rid of the sticky.

Anyway, in honor of the renegade glass of orange kool-aid, I demand that you all go visit Orange Pulp, because its alot less dull than my own blog.

If you're still reading this, you didn't visit Orange Pulp. Shame on you.

...

Went to see the Narnia movie yesterday. Had THREE cellphones go off during the movie. I'm highly tempted to shove the next cell phone that goes off while I'm watchign a movie up the ass of the cellphone's owner.

TURN THE FUCKING CELLPHONE OFF.

If you can't do without it for the 2 and 1/2 hours it takes to sit through a film, then stay the fuck home so the rest of us who do not depend on our cellphones ringtone to keep us alive can enjoy the film we payed too much to go see.

Intense scenes loose much of their intensity when the Lone Ranger theme bleeps out at you.

...

It interesting just how many djs on Mango Radio proclaim their hatred of their listeners. Being a listener of 2 of those listner hating dj's, I'm slightly offended. I say slightly, becaue I'm to tired right now to do anything more than slightly. That, and becaue I take everything they say with a grain of salt, and because somehow when they say, "Fuck you, listners" somehow it doesn't sound as bas as when my customers say, "Fuck you, you ignorant bitch."

Fevers, the orange koolaide incident, blog orgasims and gnomes

2005-12-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

Apparantly my site is "broken" in firefox.

I did all I knew how to do to fix it. I was informed it still broken. I'm out of ideas.

I spent and hour and a half browsing different blogger templates. I didn't find one that suited me.

I like the idea of a mushroom/ladybug theme. I'm also liking the idea of a vampire making its kill theme. YummY! Down on This indeed. (Have I mentioned my vampire fetish here recently?)

I'm running a fever, so that doesn't help much with my decision making process.

I tried to write something tonight and it came out pure shit.

I spilled orange koolaide on my keyboard. My keyboard still works, but the keys are sticky and hard to push down.

Oh! A gnome theme would kick ass too! I love gnomes! If I could get a combo gnome/ladybugg/mushroom theme I'd probably die of a blog orgasim or something.

Pet Names, Good Music, Scalded Boobies

2005-12-04T18:45:00.000-08:00

This just served to remind me that Robert's pet name for me used to be Sugarbumps. Thats probably something to be ashamed about.

I'm listening to Utopia's show on Mango Radio as I sit and type this. Good stuff. Always good stuff. You shoudl listen some time. She's on every Sunday at 9pm EST.

Meanwhile I spilled hot chocolate down the front of my shirt, so now my feet are cold but my titties are scalded.

Damnit.

YummY! Takes on Fox in Socks

2005-11-30T21:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, there are possible Two People out there who have any idea why I'd take the time to record myself reading Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss, and then to post it online.

That doesn't mean they'll actually want to hear it, but just in case they do....or in case YOU do for that matter.

DOWNLOAD me reading Fox in Socks

or if that wont work cause I dont know what I'm doing, go HERE to the soucre of the evil to hear it.

At the very least it's good for a hearty "point and laugh" session at my expense.

Somebody put me out of my misery...

2005-11-27T21:22:00.000-08:00

I can't sleep anymore.
Night time is the enemy.
My bedroom fiendish territory.

I cannot sleep.
My eyes come open of their own violation, I stare at the unmoving arms of my ceiling fan.

Sometimes I cry, because I cannot sleep. Becasue its only a few hours until I have to quit pretending, get out of bed and go to work.

I am a zombie, the walking dead, with glazed eyes. I'm a bitch to customers at work, distant with coworkers. I want to be alone.

Sometimes I go to the bathroom and I sit.

Sometimes I cry, at work and at home because I'm just so very tired. My eyes burn with sleeplessness, every inch of my body aches, and I cannot think anymore.

I can't sleep.

Its time for bed now. After midnight. My husband is asleep. My dogs are asleep. My cat is asleep. My rats are asleep. Even my betta fish is asleep. My burning eyes want to sleep, my tired body wants to sleep.

There is no sleep in me.

****

Listened to Utiopia on Mango Radio tonight, like every sunday night. Where were you?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

2005-11-24T17:54:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know this is an old picture, its been around for years, but its a classic, damnit. One I will break out every thanksgiving without fail. (At least until I forget about it.)

Well, HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone. Utopia, Jeckles and the rest of the Shitty Blogs Club. Well, that covers everyone that actuallys reads this damn blog anway. -grin-

Today was a decent day around here. I slept until lunch time, then got up and had our thanksgiving dinner. We didn't eat Big Bird, but the turkey was almost that large. We also had half a pig, and some other fixings.

After lunch we played a game of monopoly, then came home and put up our indoor christmas decorations.

I took many pictures today, and as I uploaded them to my computer I realized that they were mostly pictures of my cat. Only like, 2 of my husband, 1 of me, and one of him, his mom, and me at the table. But lots of my cat.

Okay...so I like my pussy. Get over it.

Here is her picture. And that is my husband holding her. I was going to put up a picture of me holding her, then I remembered how hedious I am. So I didn't. Not that my husband is any less hedious...but he's not me, and thats always a plus.

and also my fish

******

Oh, and since Utopia was the only one to make me a banner, I'll use her banner. I might even used ALL of her banners over time. Change them every once in a while. (PS. To answer your question Utopia, I woudlnt' want it much taller than 200px, but you can have it as long as you want it, as long as it wont make my page scroll. I dont know how long that woudl be though.)

If YOU want to make a banner for my blog, you still can. It must have mushrooms, at least one ladybug, the title of my blog, and the url of my blog on it.

******

I have news about my "YummY! Out Loud" podcast I was going to put out. I'll talk about it later.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-11-21T08:45:00.000-08:00

saw this movie with my hubby Saturday. I've not seen that many people thronging to a movie since we went to the midnight showing of the last Star Wars.

I was alittle dissapointed in the movie though.

It wasn't a BAD movie. Maybe a badly directed movie.

As a fan of the Harry Potter books, I didn't like that they left so much out. I understand WHY....still didn't like it.

Everything left out was the transitional things, the little things that made the novel flow. Therefor the movie had not flow. It jerked and jumped and lurched from one scene to another.

I also thought they didn't pay as must attention as they should have to a couple of details.

I also found it hard to watch the movie, knowing what I know after reading the 6th novel.

Has anyone else been jaded on the movie, after reading the novels and knowing whats going to happen with certain characters?

******

Are you good at making graphic banners?

Would you like your blog pimped out to the public?

See the post below this one for details on how making me a blog banner could get your blog pimped.

Join the Fun!

2005-11-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

So, I've decided that I need a new banner for this blog, and a larger one for my as of yet uncreated "YummY! Out Loud" page.

I've also decided that I want YOU to make it for me.

What would YOU get about making me a banner?

Well, if you make the banner I choose, I would pimp the hell out of you. I would pimp YOUR blog in every one of my posts for a month. I would also pimp your blog on my "radio" show for one entire month once I start making it.

What I'm looking for is as follows:

For THIS blog:

A toadstool (think the old Mario Bros mushrooms) and a ladybug and, of course the words "YummY! Down on This" and the sites url (which is http://www.yummydown.blogspot.com) This MUST be in black and white (or at least MOSTLY black and white. TINY touches of color will be allowed).

And for the YummY! Out Loud page:

Likewise, a toadstool, and a ladybug with earphones on (walkman...diskman...iPod..what the fuck ever, but it MUST be wearing earphones) and the words "YummY! Out Loud"

This can be in black and white, or color. However YOU see fit.

Send your submissions to yummydown@gmail.com

--

I'm already getting banners, and they are good ones! C'mon. YOU can do it too!

Let me pimp YOU!!!

2005-11-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

I'm in need of new banners. I need a new one for this page, and a larger one for my "YummY! Out Loud" page which hasn't been created yet.

If you make a banner (or banners) for me and I decide to use it (or them) I will pimp YOUR blog in every post I make for an entire MONTH. Likewise, when I start producing YummY! Out Loud on air, I'll also pimp your site there in every show for an entire MONTH.

What I'm looking for in these are

For THIS blog:

A toadstool (think the old Mario Bros mushrooms) and a ladybug and, of course the words "YummY! Down on This" and the sites url (which is http://www.yummydown.blogspot.com) This MUST be in black and white.

and for the YummY! Out Loud page:

Likewise, a toadstool, and a ladybug with earphones on (walkman...diskman...iPod..what the fuck ever, but it MUST be wearing earphones) and the words "YummY! Out Loud"

This can be in black and white, or color. However YOU see fit.

Send your submissions to yummydown@gmail.com

.....

There...I've begged. Do I really expect anyone to come through for me on this one? No. I'll probably shit myself if it does happen, but hey, a girl can dream.

Dear Customer...

2005-11-16T17:28:00.000-08:00

You suck. You suck yellow monkey ass. Yes, I'm talking to you.

Do you even attempt to LOOK before you ask me where something is? I know that you dont because I've told three of you dumb customer fucks where to look for somethign today by pointing over your shoulder because you were standing right in front of it.

OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES! DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF.

And I have to ask you, do you just wander around the store tryign to find the busiest person there is to help you? Three of my co-workers are standing at the other end of this aisle talking, I'm on the floor, sitting shoulder deep in boxes I'm trying to unpack and shelve. I know you migh think its rude to interrupt them, but they'll be much happier to walk you to the other side of the store where you item is and show it to you, and then I could stay right here and GET MY JOB DONE!!!!

Thank You,
Your Helpful Employee

Serously though, I think I deserve a medal today. It took me over 2 hours to do what it would have taken me 30 mintues to do if the customers would have left me alone. I had to keep walking them to the other side of the store because they coudln't wrap their TINY little consumer brains around the words "Its at the end of the first aisle to your left." No, I had to stop what I was doign and WALK them to it.

Even the items that were RIGHT BEHIND them, I had to stand up, move my boxes, point directl to the item. "Its right there." They woudl laugh "Oh, I was right in front of it. I should ahve looked a little harder!"

Yes, I agree with them silently, yes, dumbass, you shoudl have LOOKED!

Happy Birthday

2005-11-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday, you steaming pile of shit!

Thats right. The Shitty Blogs Club had a birthday, and none of its shitty members realized it. Even the Shitmaster himself didn't notice until it was too late.

But is it ever too late to have a kick ass birthday bash?

I think not.

I demand that everyone go to the SBC and leave a HAPPY SHITTY BIRHTDAY (or, annivesary, whichever you want to call it) comment.

Sunday after work and why I hate my husband.

2005-11-14T08:50:00.000-08:00

So, last night I got home from work and, doing the thing that is good and right, I completely ignored my husband and listened to Utopia’s show on Mango Radio. I even joined her in the chat room. We were the only two in there, and I really did enjoy talking to her.

Not to mention that I learned she has good taste in music. REALLY good taste in music.

And me, being the unashamed rip off artist that I am, after listening to Shitty Blog Radio, and Utopia’s show, want my own show now.

Of course, since I’m horribly lazy and don’t want a deadline AND because I get the feeling that Mango doesn’t like me very much (then again I get the feeling that NOBODY likes me very much, so it could just be all in my head) I wont be e-mailing him for details on how to possibly become a Mango Radio DJ.

I will possibly be putting my attempts at hosting a show up at potomatic.com.

That is IF I can ever find where the damn microphone went. It seems to have been horribly misplaces, seeing as how I’ve not seen it every since we moved from point a to point b about 3 years ago now.

My husband, who did all the packing, is the only person who might know where it is and....he has no clue where it is and isn’t showing particular interest in helping me look for it.

When it came time to pass out the "I give a shit and I’ll support my wife’s interests" to the husbands, I guess my hubby either didn’t get in line, or got the last dregs of it, cause he really DOESN’T give a shit and the only interests he supports is his OWN interests.

Eh, well, in the meant time I get to pimp my idea to my friends at all my blogs (I keep blogs at LOTS of places, which is why I occasionally disappear here) and it gives me time to learn how to work Audacity.

Battle of the Ages

2005-11-12T15:07:00.000-08:00

It was the battle to end all battles in the street in front of my house today.

It was the battle we've all know. The battle we've been taught is religion. The hatred that is just RIGHT.

The battle between cats and dogs.

Well, the battle between A cat and A dog anyway.

The participants were my cat Moe (Moe is FEMALE by the way) and the neighbors dog, Luke.

Luke had jumped his fence. Moe had left her property. They met in the middle of the street.

Luke bowed down and barked. Moe arched up and hissed.

Luck backed up and barked again. Moe stood her ground, still arched up, still hissing.

She was saying, in her native kitty tounge, "Stay the fuck away from me man! I'm a lady and I'm so pissed off at you that I am ready, willing and able to claw your eyes out. Bring it on!"

Luke was shouting in his doggy language, "Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it!"

I yelled Lukes name, trying to get him to leave my cat alone. He tured his head to look at me. Moe saw her chance to escape and hauled ass.

There was a short chase that ended up with my kitty up another neighbors tree and Luke across the street in someone elses yard with my husband chasing him down.

I coaxed Moe out of the tree, carried her across the street at which point she trotted inside and said, "Where's my supper?" The whole incident forgotten.

Meanwhile, back in his own yard, Luke is still chanting, "Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it! Cat! Gotta eat it!"

Oooo, haiku.

2005-11-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

Utopia has written YummY! haiku, all because of me not only listening to Shitty Blog Radio last night, but hopping into the chat room and talking to much, (cause thats what I do...I talk to much).

Yes, haiku, about me, on Utopia's page.

That means that you should leave my page now, and go to her page and read the haiku she wrote.

Now.

DARK TOWER COMIC

2005-11-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited about this that I think I wet myself!

NEW YORK – World Fantasy Award-winning writer Stephen King, long acknowledged as the master of modern horror, and Marvel Comics join forces this spring to launch a ground-breaking new comic book series adapted from King’s magnum opus, The Dark Tower. The first issue is scheduled to debut in April 2006.

The comic series will mark the first time Stephen King has produced original content for an ongoing comic book project. The series will expand the saga of King’s epic hero, Roland Deschain, whose quest to save the Dark Tower is captured in

seven best-selling novels published over the course of twenty-five years. King’s unparalleled storytelling power will inform new stories that delve into the life and times of the young Roland, revealing the trials and conflicts that lead to the burden of destiny he must assume as a man, the last Gunslinger from a world that has moved on. The comics will work in conjunction with the novels, further supplementing and defining the saga’s mythology under the direction of the acclaimed author himself.

READ MORE

Fat Rejection

2005-11-10T14:17:00.000-08:00

Fat people suck.

I can only say that because I'm actually fat. Its one of those unwritten rules. Only black people can say nigger...only fat people can say that fat people suck.

But...yeah...suck.

I've started this whole FAT REJECTION thing. I reject the image I see in my mirror, and goddamn it, I'm 24 years old. I'm supposed to be young and beautiful not look like..well...me.

So, you know what I did?

I put the fork down and stepped AWAY from the food.

I also started moving my ass.

And now my ass is going away. Slowly, but damnit, I'm 15 pounds lighter than I was, and I am currently wearing a pair of pants that woudln't have made it past my thighs about 3 months ago.

It kicks ass. I never knew how good it felt to actually LOOSE weight.

It feels much better than simply saying, "I'm on a diet." but secretly eating enough for me and about 4 other people when nobody was looking.

Now, I'm not going to say it was easy.

I always HATED people who would say, "Just dont eat." Its really NOT that easy.

I have an addiction to food.

You can't tell an alcoholic to JUST DONT DRINK and expect it to be that easy for them.

Its the same for really fat people who like their food a little too much.

Did you know that eating food and having sex create the same endorphins. Does this mean that fat people dont get laid enough? Its possible, but I doubt it.

I told my husband about the sex/food connection and now he asks me every five minutes if I feel hungery.

I get laid ALOT.

(please, save your brain cells and dont picture a fat chick having sex. I've SEEN me have sex. Its painful to witness and never washes off your retinas.)

And the point to all of the above was simply to say:

I'm fat.
I dont like being fat.
I'm getting unfat.

THE END

-----

This post was brought to you by:

SHITTY BLOGS RADIO.

Who's not so shitty music is partially responsible for my shrinking ass.

You. Listen. Now!

Thank you.

Having been verbally spanked...

2005-11-08T10:10:00.000-08:00

I decided I'd better play nice and say:

Congradulations to Utopia

and

Sorry you sucked wosre to Hermes

Right here, in public, where nobody will ever see it because nobody ever reads my shitty blog!!!

I also made this, to repent:

Better pay up fool....

2005-11-04T07:28:00.000-08:00

BM.COM

2005-09-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

Not THAT bm.

BlogMad

Its another one of those blog surfing, credit earning deals. At least thats what it sounds like.

Its not really open yet. BUt you, like me, can get in on the ground floor.

BlogMad

This one could be from me....

2005-09-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

...but its not.

POST SECRET

Toucing is bad....

2005-09-10T17:34:00.000-07:00

High on my list...

2005-09-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

Of things never to get inked onto my body...
Espically my ass.

Beat the High Gas Prices

2005-09-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Judy Garland's Famed Ruby Slippers Stolen

2005-08-30T20:07:00.000-07:00

GRAND RAPIDS, Minn. - A pair of ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in "The Wizard of Oz" and insured for $1 million is missing from a Grand Rapids museum.

Police Chief Leigh Serfling said the slippers were stolen late Saturday or early Sunday. Someone entered the museum through a window and broke into the small display case holding the slippers.

"There's not a whole lot of evidence," Serfling said. "We're hoping that someone in the community has seen something."

Children's Discovery Museum director John Kelsch said the slippers belong to a Los Angeles man who loaned them to the museum for several weeks this summer.

The children's museum houses the Judy Garland museum, which displayed the same pair of slippers last year. Garland was born in Grand Rapids in 1922.

"The slippers are a major attraction at our museum," Kelsch said in a news release Monday. "It is our hope that the slippers can be recovered immediately."

Four pairs of ruby slippers worn by Garland in the movie are known to exist, including one pair on display at the Smithsonian Institution. Another pair sold at Christie's auction house in 2000 for $666,000.

Yummy Down on This, Abby

2005-08-27T17:34:00.000-07:00

I read Dear Abby. I do it for the laughs, because I rarely agree with what she has to say.

And sometimes, like in this case, I get pissed at the people writing to being with.

So, here is the question that pissed me off today.

Underneath it is MY answer.

DEAR ABBY: You answered a question from a reader who asked how to respond when her 300-pound friend wanted to ride her horse but was too heavy for the animal to safely carry.

What should I tell my daughter-in-law who weighs at least that much when she wants to sit on my living room sofa and chairs? She has already split the wood frame on one of them. It was less than seven months old. I had it repaired, but I can't afford new furniture. The chairs are not big enough for her body. I would prefer she sit on the kitchen chairs, which are heavy.

Their living room furniture is less than five years old, but it already looks 20 years old. The fabric is sagging and the springs are broken.

I asked my son to say something to her, but he hasn't. I feel he should be the one to tell her. They'll be visiting again soon. What should I say to her? Or should I insist that my son tell her? -- MINNESOTA MOTHER-IN-LAW

YUMMY DOWN ON THIS

Dear M MIL, there is a HUGE difference in not wanting an overweight person to ride a horse and not wanting one to sit on your furniture.

The horse is a living being that suffers from the weight it has to carry and can be damaged by being ridden.

Your funiture can be damaged by being sat on, but its not a living being, unlike the horse and unlike your daughter in law.

You might as well tell her the truth, "I think your fat ass is going to ruin my furniture. Go away, you disgust me."

If you forbid your daughter in law from sitting on your furniture or try to make her sit on the less comfortable kitchen chairs, then I hope she tells you exactly what kind of person you are, where you can go and what you can do when you get there.

I know I would.

The Fly Story

2005-08-24T19:47:00.000-07:00

Don't you just LOVE the yellow bellies?

2005-08-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

I WAS going to share my response to a Dear Abby question today, but instead I have to comment to one of my comments.

I hate to do this because I know it was only a pathetic person who craves the attention, but sometimes I just have to say something.

I had an "Anonymous" poster leave me the lovely comment of "update your blog or get it off"
Mmm...don’t you just LOVE that sentence. Not properly capitalized. No punctuation. And so demanding.

But, c'mon. Before you start demanding for me to either UPDATE or GET OFF, then you need to not be a CHICKEN SHIT and leave me a link to YOUR blog so I can see how often YOU update.

There, I've stroked your ego. You can masturbate to this post now that you've gotten me to update AND you can say someone noticed you.

Just don’t cum on the keyboard. It could prevent you from posting further cowardly messages to me.

Seriously, from YummY's world....

2005-08-07T16:37:00.000-07:00

So, my family is fucked up, but I love them anyway, right?

My dad has mental issues now, thanks to a bad drug trip. I wont go into specifics cause I'd rather not. Just know that he's not loony. He's still perfectly normal and can function normally in society without you being any the wiser and only a few of us know he is a little off now.

So, one of my oldest brothers moves himself and his girlfriend into my dads house to "Keep and eye on daddy," which, in itself, isn't a bad thing, but I've never seen him anywhere NEAR our dad. Every time I'm there (which I admit, isn't often because I live in another city several hours away, but every time I can get off of work I go spend the weekend with him) my brother and his GF stay in their room all the time, unless the come out to get somethign to eat.

Well, a bit ago my brother lost his job becasue he never WENT TO WORK which is a good way to loose a job.

And this morning I'm told that he ISN'T EVEN LOOKING FOR A JOB because he's "Staying home to keep an eye on daddy."

Now, my (our) dad is going to be 64 years old soon. He's live a long and HARD life. He's worked outside in the blistering heat or freezing cold as long as I've known him, working ungodly hours, leaving at 5 or 6 am and working sometimes until 11pm to midnight.

He is supposed to be RETIRED now. He's not supposed to be out there working in Georgia's 115 degree weather. He's supposed to be sitting inside watching his GPTV, drinking his coffee or iced tea and playing with his dogs or sitting on the bank of a river fishing.

But since my 38 year old brother is "looking after" him and not working and his 22 year old GF has never worked since they lived there, my dad is paying ALL the bills and supporting my brother and his GF. Which means that my 64 year old RETIRED dad HAS to work whether he wants to or not.

Please, tell me, is there something wrong with that picture?

A Good Old Fashioned Stripper Roundup

2005-07-31T16:08:00.000-07:00

Pasco County, Florida - Fifteen Pasco County nude dancers have dates in court after a lunch-time roundup.

Before arresting the women Thursday, the undercover deputies watched nude dancers on stage, bought some of them drinks, and received lap dances from others.

Read whole article HERE.

Baby, lightly toasted

2005-07-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Mother arrested after leaving child in car

By Eve SullivanStaff WriterPublished July 26 2005

STAMFORD -- A Stamford woman was arrested yesterday after she accidentally locked her 23-month-old son in her steaming hot Audi, then refused to let emergency workers break the window to free him.

READ THE ARTICLE HERE

****

Now, go comment at the Shitty Blog Club, and tell them Yummy sent you!

When is a Blog not a blog?

2005-07-27T17:01:00.000-07:00

SHITTY ZONE ONLY, NO PISSING ALLOWED

aka "I PIMPED MY SHIT '05"

What is better than a huge steaming pile of shit?

Yeah, you're right, pretty much ANYTHING is better than a steaming pile of shit.

But, if that's the case, why do so many people have shitty blogs?

Shitty blogs like this one?

Shitty blogs that should belong to THE SHITTY BLOGS CLUB!

Yes, I said THE SHITTY BLOGS CLUB!!

You're mission, shoudl you choose to NOT ignore is is to go to THE SHITTY BLOGS CLUB and leave a comment. Any comment. Any comment at all. And tell them that YummY sent you.

Whats in it for you?

Not a damn thing.

But I might get a shitty button. Shitty buttons are cool.

So, once again, go to THE SHITTY BLOGS CLUB and tell them that YummY sent you.

Do it.

Do it now.

If enough of you do it I'll stop saying THE SHITTY BLOGS CLUB over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

Your Average Male Brain

2005-07-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

Also applies to some females...

The Last Laugh

2005-07-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

The other OTHER white meat.

2005-06-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Moe killed a rat last night. She ate most of it. What she didn't eat, she put in her food bowl for later.
.
.
.
.
.
Below here is a picture of rat parts in a bowl of cat food. If rat parts disturb you, forget the rest of this.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

She really did put it in her bowl herself. I didn't put it there for the picture. She did it herself. Funny strange cat, Moe.

In the Ladies Room

2005-05-29T19:04:00.000-07:00

PeckerWood

2005-05-28T16:13:00.000-07:00